The 5 love languages: Genuine advice or Christian control in disguise?

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Most people think the five love languages are a pop psychology phenomenon. However, they're not rooted in psychology at all. The origins of the five love languages are closer to the Bible than to science, and they were never made as a tool to help women in their relationships.

That's because they were created by Baptist preacher Gary Chapman, a man who's trained in Biblical counselling. His background involves no scientific or psychological training. The crazy thing is, that isn't even the most problematic part.

I read Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages, and in this episode I critically dissect his theory from a feminist lens in a way no one's ever done before. I'll discuss:

• The conservative & misogynistic origins of Biblical counselling
• How marriage counselling originated as a form of eugenics (& how this agenda found its way into the church)
• The sexist examples Chapman uses in his book, which shatter his credibility
• The HUGE problem with Chapman's sample (hint: they're all white, Christian, traditional couples)
• How the love languages map out PERFECTLY to the 5 points of Calvinism (a control-based branch of Protestantism that forms the foundation of Biblical counselling)
• Whether there's a better alternative to the love languages

Sources:

• Awful '50s Marriage Advice Shows What Our Mothers And Grandmothers Were Up Against
• The Biblical Counselling Movement
• The “love languages” are a hoax by a Southern Baptist pastor
• The Surprising History of Marriage Counselling

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🎙️ About the podcast: The patriarchy is starting to crumble, but sadly it probably won't be fully dismantled in our lifetime. In this podcast, I help women exploit the system's loopholes while finding the hidden ways the patriarchy conditions us to leak our power. Because guess what? Power isn't given, it's either taken or created. And it's time to take back the power the patriarchy stole from us.

👸 About Neeki: I earned my Bachelor’s in Public Policy with High Distinction and went on to complete my Master’s in Political Science, both at the University of Toronto. I've been invited to present my research on how underdogs build and leverage power at conferences across North America. Before launching this podcast, I worked in management consulting, advising senior executives at some of Canada’s largest companies.

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