BACH UNCUT - Three's a crowd

Holy hell we’re BACKKKKK.. Can you bloody believe it? Well, we can’t either. Lot’s has changed with the Bachelor - there’s three men looking for love. Please meet **drum roll please** Felix, Jed and Thomas! Also, at the end of last season Osher sold all the old decorations on Facebook Marketplace and moved to the Goldy. This means Bach is in a new city, there’s no red carpet or fairy lights and new roses. Oh, and the guys have to propose at the finale (we think, we’re still working it all out).

The show kicks off with Bachies selecting women (via rose offerings) on speed dates all around the country. Some tell the pipsqueaks to beat it (sorry Jed), some play tonsil hockey (hello Felix) and some cry (bless you Thomas). The rose holders all pack up their bags and travel to the Gold Coast to move in with Osher. Then it’s time for the first cocktail party (ep 2) which is just Felix eating Tilly’s face. We then have a group date/pool party, which is just Felix eating Naomi’s face. You may have noticed there’s a recurring theme here. Then we say goodbye to three randoms at a rose ceremony!

If you’re still reading this, 10 points to you. We’re up to ep 3 and Tash drops the news that Jess (dating Felix) is polyamorous and has a boyf on the outside. Felix flips out and decides to head home and sulk as Jed takes Tash on a date as Thomas heads off with Leah. Then there’s a group date at Dreamworld (nothing happens). However at the rose ceremony, the woman have a wild brawl because of how Tash behaved. It all kicks off and I think it’s official, Tash is the villain of the season. Thoughts and prayers with the woman who left at the rose ceremony - Abby, Emma and Palen or Kalen or Falen..

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