The 12 Hour Pyramid

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"JoJo is dealing with her lice and the girls are all like GROSS! Meanwhile they all had it!" As Christi notes, it just wouldn't be Dance Moms without some double dealing contradictions, and oh boy are there A LOT this week. There are so many salacious behind the scenes notes that Christi had to actually verify some things with crew people this week! At least last week Abby was AWOL, she's unfortunately returned with some leftover pain to spare as she continues to hone in on Nia as her new child punching bag.

After being sidelined during the auditions process last week, Holly arranged to have Nia meet with Aubrey O'Day to help build out a music career. But Jill squeals to Abby about this... for some reason, and Nia's punishment comes swiftly. Abby attempts to sabotage the meeting by calling O'Day and offering a payout if she ignores Nia and Holly, which Nia overhears and quickly begins to spiral. Holly is fed up with this treatment and confronts Abby, but none of the moms choose to back her confrontation leading to Holly calling them cowards. Abby is furious and storms out of the Pyramid filming session, leading to what might be the longest Pyramid recording in the show's history. Which is sort of special as this is the 100th Pyramid, though in the final edit you'd barely could tell because it's maybe the shortest Pyramid to date! The reason being Abby just straight up refuses to participate in filming, not only to avoid Holly but to stick it to Production who she fears is wrangling control from her now that she doesn't get her cushy Pittsburgh perks.

The Fraizers depart for two days to make good on their plans. Nia is consequently kicked off the group number, leaving JoJo to fill the void despite her charm offensive continuing to annoy Abby. Jess is determined to make JoJo permanent, though some worry has set in now that Abby is going to hold open auditions again soon. In fact all the girls' spots are supposedly up for grabs (ok not Maddie's, but she doesn't know that and it's stressing her out regardless!). JoJo has one chance to impress Abby, this time with her solo routine inspired by the movie Carrie. Only problem is JoJo is 11 and can't even watch Carrie! Abby doesn't care and starts berating Jess for not forcing R-Rated nightmares into her daughter's psyche to make her a better dancer.

To add insult to injury JoJo gets a bad case of lice... actually all the girls do, they brought it over from Pittsburgh! But does the show admit that? Of course not! They just lie and say it's a JoJo problem! Don't you just love making up things about kids to embarrass them on TV to cover for your poor upkeep and management?! What a strange thing to do.

It only gets stranger.

Quotes

• “There's a lot of stuff that we had to pretend was real. Yeah, like Nia went to the doctor and it was just a girl I hang out at the bar with. She's a bartender there. I did not know that!" (20:05-20:22 | Christi & Kelly)
• “How many times are we going to talk about Abby and P. Diddy together? It comes up like 900 times!" (28:59-29:05 | Christi)
• “Apparently Abby gives Mackenzie a very important life lesson at this point? Oh god what? I don't know that I want to know. Mackenzie, when men are trying to make you do something you don't want to do for money, that's called being a whore! Don't be a whore! What does that have to do with anything?!" (1:07:47-1:08:08 | Christi & Kelly)
• “I don't know if you could compare Dance Moms to war. I don't know, I kind of felt like I was at war!" (1:19:06-1:19:13 | Christi & Kelly)

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