Stop Trying to Fix People: Why Advice Kills Intimacy in Relationships

Episode Description

If you’ve ever rushed in with advice when someone you love was hurting—or felt shut down when you just wanted to be heard—this episode is for you. Finn and Dr. Sarah break down one of the most common (and damaging) traits of codependency: the need to fix other people’s feelings. Through real-life stories, honest reflection, and practical tools, they explain why fixing kills intimacy, what it creates instead, and how learning to listen can transform your relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Trying to fix someone’s feelings often makes them feel unseen and alone

• Most people don’t want solutions—they want validation and presence

• Fixing is usually about managing your discomfort, not helping them

• Asking “Do you want support or feedback?” can change everything

• Listening builds intimacy; fixing creates resentment

Key Timestamps

• [01:00] — The core codependency trait: trying to fix people

• [02:00] — Finn’s story: when advice shut down connection

• [04:00] — Why validation matters more than solutions

• [07:00] — Asking what someone needs instead of assuming

• [08:30] — Fixing as emotional self-protection

• [10:00] — How fixing creates distance and resentment

Notable Resources

• Dr. Sarah Michaud — Author of Co Crazy

• Leaving CrazyTown Podcast on YouTube

• Website: https://drsarahmichaud.com/

If this episode hit home, subscribe, rate, and review Leaving CrazyTown—and share it with someone who’s tired of feeling unheard.

Leaving CrazyTown is a raw, real-talk podcast hosted by Finn and Dr. Sarah Michaud, two recovering addicts turned relatable guides on the wild ride of codependency healing. Each episode dives deep into dysfunctional relationship patterns, emotional recovery, and reclaiming your voice—with humor, honesty, and hope. Subscribe and buckle up—we’re leaving CrazyTown.