Why Most Men Are Bad in Bed | Ep. 144

You think you know how to please a woman. Most men miss the basics.

I sit down with Certified Intimacy Coach, Surrogate Partner & Somatic Intimacy Guide and & Virgin Island TV Expert Andre Lazarus to talk about what men misunderstand about sex, connection, and their own bodies. We cover emotional vulnerability, masculine and feminine energy, erectile dysfunction, rapid ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and why performance pressure kills pleasure. Andre shares what actually helps men reconnect with sensation, desire, and confidence in bed. This conversation goes deeper than technique. It starts with presence.

In this episode:

00:00 Why most men miss the basics of intimacy

01:10 Welcome to Taboo To Truth

02:05 Introducing Andre Lazarus

03:40 From U.S. Marine to intimacy work

05:15 The biggest misconception men have about intimacy

07:40 Why vulnerability feels dangerous for men

10:10 Midlife dating and emotionally unavailable men

12:45 Masculinity, culture, and emotional shutdown

15:20 The little boy behind the tough exterior

17:40 Masculine and feminine energy in relationships

20:30 Who seeks this work and why

22:45 What surrogate partner therapy really involves

25:10 Attachment, endings, and rejection

27:30 Sexual challenges men bring into sessions

29:40 Practical tools to reconnect with the body

31:45 Rapid fire questions and closing thoughts

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Connect with Andre Lazarus:

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/comingcloserwithandre

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre

Andre Lazarus is a somatic intimacy guide and trusted voice on relationships, sexuality, and embodied connection. A former U.S. Marine, he brings a grounded perspective to vulnerability and desire. He is known for his work as a professional surrogate partner on the UK series Virgin Island, where he helped participants navigate intimacy with safety and presence. Through his practice, Coming Closer, Andre works with individuals and couples to move beyond performance and reconnect with their bodies, emotions, and each other.

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.