When Opposites Attract: Different Instinct Stacks in Marriage

When Opposites Attract: Different Instinct Stacks in Marriage

Now that you know more about the Enneagram instincts and desires, and you've heard that they're even MORE important than your types, what's one way you can build a bridge in an opposites attract pairing? Today we explore exactly that - what happens when different dominant instincts collide in marriage and what can you do. What happens when Security-focused (SP) marries Intensity-focused (SX)? Or when Social-focused (SO) pairs with Security-focused (SP)? I break down all 6 possible combinations with quick fixes for each. Real couples, real solutions, simple framework you can use today. Watch on YouTube! Deeper dive with us on Apple Pod, too! Don't forget! Use the special E + M Code Marriage100 for $100 the Russ Hudson Three Instincts course ⁠⁠⁠here!⁠⁠⁠ https://russhudson.com/the-instincts-and-inner-work-building-practices-for-transforming-our-life-patterns/ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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When You're Too Weary for the Work, with Amy Wicks, 7

When You're Too Weary for the Work, with Amy Wicks, 7

So many this 2026 are bone-tired, pouring themselves out for everyone around them until there is nothing left, and then feeling guilty for having no energy left for the inner work they know matters, e...

31 Elo 43min

The Gift Your Marriage Never Knew It Needed: A Full You

The Gift Your Marriage Never Knew It Needed: A Full You

As we have named what our spouses cannot carry for us, now we turn the corner to the best gift your marriage never knew it needed, and it is not a date night or a new technique, it is a full you. If y...

26 Elo 20min

When Parenting Takes Everything, with Abbey Howe, 3

When Parenting Takes Everything, with Abbey Howe, 3

When the kids need everything, there is often very little left over for the marriage, and yet if our family is going to make it, fighting for it is your work to do. To this end, Christa welcomes Abbey...

24 Elo 43min

What Your Spouse Can and Can't Hold (Mind the Gap!)

What Your Spouse Can and Can't Hold (Mind the Gap!)

As we're talking about all month, every marriage has gaps and seasons where connection runs thin or a need goes unspoken for too long. As you're learning to healthily differentiate, don't move so far ...

19 Elo 21min

Grief, Remarriage, and the Love That Lasts, with Clarissa Moll, 6

Grief, Remarriage, and the Love That Lasts, with Clarissa Moll, 6

⁠⁠⁠This is a special and tender episode to close our month on what our spouses can and cannot carry for us, because some things, like grief, are simply too heavy for any one person to hold alone. Chri...

17 Elo 33min

Your Virtue, Your Vice, and Awakening to Your True Purposes

Your Virtue, Your Vice, and Awakening to Your True Purposes

So much of what we hand our spouse to fix is really our own inner work in disguise. In this episode, Christa turns to two of the most useful words the Enneagram gives us: your vice and your virtue. Yo...

12 Elo 22min

The Blind Spots Between Us, with Beatrice Chestnut, 2

The Blind Spots Between Us, with Beatrice Chestnut, 2

Christa welcomes the beloved Beatrice Chestnut, one of the most respected voices in the Enneagram world, for a rich conversation on the three centers of intelligence, the body, the heart, and the head...

10 Elo 53min

Where Our Deeper Needs Really Belong with Coach Linda Hannigan, 3

Where Our Deeper Needs Really Belong with Coach Linda Hannigan, 3

This week Christa welcomes Linda Hannigan, 3 (3-1 pairing), an Enneagram and Marriage certified coach, gifted orator, and truth teller whose candor and artistry make her a joy to learn from. Together ...

5 Elo 43min

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