Overcoming the Shame of Loving a Narcissist | Forgiving Your "Survival Self"
Why is the shame of staying often heavier than the pain of the abuse itself? In this episode, self-aware narcissist Lee Hammock explores the deep, internalized shame that survivors carry long after the relationship ends.If you find yourself thinking, "How did I let this happen?" or "I’m embarrassed by how I acted," this session is for you. Lee pulls back the curtain on why narcissists intentionally use shame as a weapon to keep you isolated and why your "reactive abuse" wasn't a reflection of your character—it was a survival mechanism.In this episode, we break down:The "How Could I?" Trap: Why smart, strong people are often the primary targets for narcissistic manipulation.Reactive Abuse vs. Who You Are: Understanding why you yelled, cursed, or "acted crazy" and why you need to stop blaming yourself for it.The Isolation Effect: How the narcissist cuts you off from your support system so that shame becomes your only company.Forgiving the "Past You": Practical steps to stop the self-inflicted mental beatdown and start the self-love journey.Breaking the Secret: Why speaking your truth is the only way to kill the shame the narcissist planted in you.You didn't choose the abuse, but you can choose to stop punishing yourself for surviving it.Connect with Lee:My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
14 Tammi 14min
Escaping a Cult: 28 Years of Brainwashing with Peter Young
What is the difference between a narcissistic partner and a cult leader? As it turns out, almost nothing. In this powerful episode, Lee Hammock (Self-Aware Narcissist) sits down with Peter Young, a survivor of a tiny but destructive religious cult led by a man known as "Uncle Robert."Peter’s story is a chilling look at how high-control groups use "The Cult of One" tactics to destroy marriages, alienate children, and turn a person’s life inside out. For 28 years, Peter was trapped in a cycle of psychological isolation and spiritual abuse that cost him everything—including his relationship with his five children. Now, he’s sharing the "unmasking" moment when he finally saw the truth. Whether you are recovering from a group cult or a "one-on-one" cult (a toxic marriage), Peter’s journey from brainwashing to freedom is a masterclass in reclaiming your mind.In this episode, we discuss:The "Uncle Robert" Playbook: How one person can dismantle an entire family.The Slow Brainwash: Why smart, capable people fall for high-control tactics.Narcissistic Parallels: Comparing cult leadership to the "Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse."The Cost of Control: Dealing with the alienation of children and the loss of 28 years.Breaking the Spell: How Peter finally opened his eyes and escaped.About Our Guest:Peter Young is the author of the Amazon best-selling memoir, "Stop The Tall Man, Save The Tiger." He now speaks out about the dangers of small, destructive religious groups and helps survivors find their way back to reality.Connect with Peter:🌐 Website: www.authorpeteryoung.com📸 Instagram: @peterbyoungResources & Support from Lee:📔 Courses/Groups :[https://courses.mentalhealness.net]📞 Book a 1-on-1: [www.mentalhealness.net]
13 Tammi 50min
Why is it so hard to leave a narcissist?
In this episode, we dive deep into the psychological reality of narcissistic abuse recovery and why it takes an average of seven attempts before a survivor leaves for good. We explore the biological and emotional "hooks" that keep you stuck, from the trauma bond to intermittent reinforcement.If you’ve ever wondered why you keep going back or why the "final" break feels so impossible, this session provides the clarity you need to break the cycle.The 7-Attempt Rule: Understanding the statistics and the psychology behind leaving an abusive relationship.The Trauma Bond & Dopamine: Why leaving a narcissist feels like physical drug withdrawal.Intermittent Reinforcement: How the "hot and cold" cycle creates a powerful psychological addiction.Cognitive Dissonance: Navigating the confusion between who they were and who they are.The Hoovering Phase: How to stay firm when they try to "suck" you back into the relationship.Stages of Healing: What the timeline of recovery actually looks like after going No ContactConnect with Lee:My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
12 Tammi 17min
Unmasking the Quiet Narcissist: The Subtle Art of Control (REMIX)
Headline: They don't scream. They don't brag. They just slowly break you down.Most people think they know what a narcissist looks like—someone loud, arrogant, and demanding the spotlight. But as a diagnosed self-aware narcissist, I’m here to tell you that the most dangerous ones are the ones you never see coming.In this Remix episode, we are diving deep into the "Quiet Narcissist." We explore why this type is so effective at keeping you trapped for years, often without you even realizing you’re being manipulated. Instead of grandiose displays of power, the quiet narcissist uses silence, "victimhood," and passive-aggressive behavior to maintain total control. If you’ve ever felt like you were "losing your mind" in a relationship but couldn't point to any "big" blowups, this episode is for you.In this episode, we break down:The "Nice Guy/Girl" Mask: Why their outward humility is their greatest weapon.Passive-Aggressive Warfare: How they use "the cold shoulder" and subtle digs to punish you.The Professional Victim: Why they always make themselves the "underdog" to keep you in a "fixer" role.The Subtle Discard: How they withdraw affection to make you work harder for their approval.The Path to Clarity: How to stop doubting your reality and see the patterns for what they truly are.Stop looking for the "loud" red flags and start paying attention to the silence.Connect with Lee:My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
11 Tammi 14min
Why "I'm Sorry" is a Death Sentence to a Narcissist.
Have you been waiting months, or even years, for a simple, genuine apology? As a diagnosed self-aware narcissist, I’m here to tell you why you might be waiting for something that is physically and psychologically impossible for a narcissist to give.In this episode, I pull back the curtain on the "Narcissistic Injury." To you, an apology is a way to heal a wound; to me, an apology is a total surrender of power. I explain why admitting fault feels like a "death of the ego" and why we would rather double down on a blatant lie than offer you the closure you deserve. If you’ve been struggling with the "Non-Apology" (like "I'm sorry you feel that way"), this episode will help you understand the mechanics of the narc-brain so you can stop seeking validation from the person who hurt you.In this episode, we break down:The Ego Armor: Why saying "I'm sorry" feels like being physically exposed and defeated.The "Winning" Mindset: Why relationships feel like a zero-sum game where an apology equals a "loss."Decoding the Fake Apology: How to recognize blame-shifting, justifications, and "regret" vs. "remorse."Closure Without Them: How to give yourself the apology they never will, so you can finally break the trauma bond.Stop waiting for them to take accountability. Take your power back by understanding their limitations.Connect with Lee:My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
10 Tammi 13min
No One Seems To Care! The Empathy Deficit In America and Society
The lack of empathy in today's society, especially in America, is out of control. NO one seems to care when Harm comes to other people. People Literally don't care and I'm fed up with it. It's traumatizing to wake up everyday with something else going on. Connect with Lee:My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
9 Tammi 13min
The Real Reason I Reached Out: A Narcissist’s Confession
Have you ever received a text from an ex-partner saying they "miss you" or "saw something that reminded them of you" just when you were finally moving on? In this episode of the Mental Healness Podcast, Lee Hammock—a self-aware, diagnosed narcissist—takes the mask off to explain the cold reality behind the "Hoover."Most survivors believe these messages are a sign of reflection or regret. But in this raw confessional, Lee explains why he used to reach out, and it wasn’t because of love. It was a calculated move to check "if the door was still unlocked."In this episode, we break down:The "Nostalgia Trap": How narcissists use your shared memories as a weapon to bypass your boundaries.Supply vs. Connection: Why a reach-out usually means the narcissist’s current "supply" is low, not that they’ve changed.The Boredom Factor: The truth about why "boredom" is a primary motivator for a narcissist to contact an ex.Protecting Your Peace: Why replying to a hoover—even with anger—gives the narcissist exactly what they want.If you are struggling to maintain "No Contact" or wondering if your ex has finally changed, this episode is the reality check you need to stay strong.Connect with Lee:My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
8 Tammi 14min
