I Was the Fun Dad. It Almost Destroyed My Marriage.

When Jordan Carlos looks back on the role he was playing in his family a few years ago, he does not like what he sees. He was bringing home a good salary as a comedian, but doing only the bare minimum as a husband and a dad. When Jordan did show up at home, he was more likely to take the kids out for an all-day candy binge than to take them to the dentist or to tuck them in by bedtime.

But Jordan got a painful wake-up call when the pandemic hit and his work came to a halt. Home all the time, Jordan looked around and noticed that nobody seemed to need, or expect, any help from him. And his marriage was in serious trouble.

This week on “Modern Love,” Jordan explains how he let things get so bad in the first place, and how day by day, chore by chore, he started to take responsibility for all the little things that actually mean a lot.

Jordan’s book, “Choreplay: The Marriage-Saving Magic of Getting Your Head Out of Your Ass,” comes out Feb. 10.

Listener Callout: “Modern Love” wants to hear from you. What’s the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you? What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever witnessed? If something made you feel that rush of romance, send us a voice memo by Feb. 4, and we may use it on the show. Check out our submission page to learn more.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(445)

I Tried to Have a Kid With My Best Friend. It Got Complicated.

Joseph Osmundson spent years joking about having a baby with his best friend. But one day, she told Joe she was serious about it. Joe was elated. Growing up, he had always wanted to be a father, but h...

3 Kesä 46min

Is Codependency Good?

Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton’s lives are completely intertwined. They’ve been married for almost 20 years while collaborating on films, raising children and spending as much time together as possibl...

27 Touko 42min

I Tried Everything to Escape My Heartbreak. Only This Worked.

Lauren Bans was seven months pregnant when she realized she needed a divorce. Suddenly, she found herself heartbroken, terrified, and completely unable to make decisions or think about the future. One...

20 Touko 43min

Love Lessons From Ramy Youssef’s Dog

When people stop Ramy Youssef on the street, it's usually not because they're mega-fans of his comedy. Instead, they mostly just want to pet his dog. It's not until they walk away, he says, that they ...

13 Touko 37min

Isabel Allende and Her Mother Told Each Other (Almost) Everything

Isabel Allende began writing daily letters to her mother when she was a teenager. Over the next several decades, they exchanged over 24,000 of them. Allende credits their letter writing with removing ...

6 Touko 45min

My Mom Had a Secret Daughter. I Finally Found Her.

Tracy Clark-Flory was 16 when she learned something that would change her world forever: She had a half sister she’d never met. Tracy's mother, Deborah, had gotten pregnant as a freshman in college. S...

29 Huhti 49min

No, I Won't Be Your Bridesmaid

Ruhama Wolle loves weddings, but after being a bridesmaid three times in a little more than a year, she reached a breaking point. The financial and emotional burden was too much, and in an article for...

22 Huhti 51min

Elizabeth Banks Married Her College Sweetheart. They’re Still in Love.

On her first day of college, Elizabeth Banks met a cute guy at a party. This was long before her roles in “Pitch Perfect” and “30 Rock.” A lot has changed, but 33 years later Banks is still with that ...

15 Huhti 45min