Sober Curious & Less Sex - Why Young People Are Redefining Pleasure & Wellness

Welcome back to The Meredith Patterson Podcast—where we explore life, wellness, and mindset from every angle.

Today we're tackling two trends that sound simple on the surface but run deep:

1. More people—especially Gen Z and younger millennials—are drinking less or trying on a "sober curious" or "damp" lifestyle.

2. Young people are also reporting less sex than prior generations.

Is this a crisis of fun—or a reset toward health, consent, and intentional connection? What's good about it, what's not, and what can we all learn, whether you're 22 or fabulous-at-50?

Let's get curious—without judgment—and look at what the data actually say.

The Sober Curious Shift What's happening?

Multiple sources show younger adults are moderating or opting out of alcohol more than previous cohorts did at the same age. Gallup reports that young adults have become progressively less likely to drink over the past two decades; health risk awareness is up sharply among under-35s.

On the ground, you can see the culture shifting: Dry January participation keeps climbing, and "damp" (moderation) is mainstream. Recent surveys show big 2025 participation intent, and brands report consumers are planning to drink less through the year, not just in January.

Markets follow behavior: the no-alcohol category in the U.S. is forecast to approach $5B by 2028, with no-alc beer and RTDs driving growth—proof this isn't just a hashtag; it's a real behavior change.

Zooming out, Gen Z's lower interest in alcohol aligns with a bigger wellness mindset and a growing belief that even "moderate" drinking carries risk—messaging consistently echoed by WHO and U.S. public health voices.

Why it's happening

• Health clarity: The narrative that "a little red wine is heart-healthy" is being reexamined; public health agencies increasingly emphasize risk at any level, and many young people simply don't want to trade sleep and mental clarity for hangovers.

• Identity & productivity: Young professionals—especially in tech and start-ups—are normalizing no/low drinking to "lock in" performance and longevity at work.

• Better options: Alcohol-free spirits, beers, and mocktails are good now; the category is expanding fast, making sober socializing feel celebratory, not sacrificial.

• Substitution effects: Daily cannabis use has risen and recently surpassed daily alcohol use in the U.S., so some people may be swapping rather than abstaining entirely. (That carries its own health considerations.)

• Cyclical nuance: Some analysts say the "sober craze" may be plateauing as consumers drink less often but better—premiumizing when they do drink. Translation: fewer nights out, nicer cocktails when they do go out.

What's good about this trend?

• Fewer alcohol harms. Less drinking means fewer injuries, better sleep, and potentially lower long-term disease risk. U.S. guidance and major reviews increasingly favor "less is better," period.

• Social design. Sober-forward events widen inclusion for people who are pregnant, in recovery, training, on meds, or just prefer clarity.

• Money & mood. Cutting back can reduce spending and post-drinking anxiety—big wins for financial and mental health.

What could be tricky?

• Loneliness & ritual gaps. If "grabbing drinks" is your default social ritual, removing it without replacing the ritual can increase isolation. The U.S. Surgeon General calls loneliness a public health crisis, with risks comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day—so we can't ignore the social side.

• Moralizing wellness. Sobriety can become performative or perfectionistic—another way to "be good" instead of listening to your body.

• Substitutions. Swapping alcohol for daily cannabis or other coping behaviors may trade one issue for another; "sober curious" works best when it's grounded in connection and skills, not just removal.

Reflection prompt: If alcohol disappeared from your calendar this month, what social rituals would you add back in so connection doesn't drop out with the drinks?

The "Less Sex" Trend What's happening?

Big picture: sexual activity among U.S. teens and many young adults has declined over the past decade. CDC's national Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) shows that in 2023, 32% of high school students reported ever having had sex (down from 47% in 2013), and 21% were currently sexually active.

Among adults, General Social Survey analyses indicate rising "sexlessness" in the last year—especially for young men—with some rebound after the pandemic, but not back to prior norms. Think: fewer people reporting weekly sex than in the late '80s and '90s, and more reporting none in the last year.

Meanwhile, life milestones keep shifting later: marriage, moving out, kids. Only about a quarter of 25–34-year-olds have hit all four "traditional" milestones, compared to almost half in 1975. That delay changes partnership and sexual patterns.

Why it's happening

• Consent & autonomy culture: Clearer norms around consent and bodily autonomy can reduce pressure to "just go along," reshaping what counts as "normal." YRBS added a consent measure in 2023; among those with sexual contact, ~80% reported asking verbally for consent at last sexual contact—suggesting explicit consent is part of teen sexual scripts in ways it didn't used to be.

• Digital life & dating app fatigue: More time online means less in-person practice with flirting, conflict, and repair. Reporting highlights "situationships," paradox of choice, and screen-first intimacy that doesn't always translate IRL.

• Politics & safety: Post-Roe uncertainty, patchwork sex ed, and access issues around contraception create anxiety and caution—especially for young women and LGBTQ+ youth.

• Mental health & economics: Stress, housing costs, and delayed independence don't exactly fuel romance.

What's good about this trend?

• Teen pregnancy keeps falling. Teen birth rates hit another record low in 2024. That's a huge public health win. (Rates also declined for 20–24 year-olds.)

• Intentionality. There's less shame in saying, "I'm focusing on myself," or "Casual sex isn't good for my mental health right now."

• Consent literacy. A more vocal consent culture can mean fewer regret-driven encounters and more clarity about boundaries.

What should concern us?

• Loneliness gap. Less sex without more connection can mean isolation. The Surgeon General's advisory is clear: weak social connection raises risks for depression, heart disease, stroke, dementia, and premature death. We need more belonging even if we choose less sex.

• Condom use is down. Among sexually active high-schoolers, condom use at last sex fell over the past decade—to 52% in 2023—while STI risks persist (including a serious congenital syphilis crisis). Less frequent sex doesn't automatically mean safer sex.

• Skill lag. If awkwardness keeps us from practicing communication, conflict repair, and intimacy skills, starting healthy relationships gets harder—at any age.

Reflection prompt: If you're having less sex by choice, are you also getting your needs for touch, play, and closeness met—through hugs, dance, massage, spiritual community, or deep friendship?

How These Trends Interact

These shifts don't live in separate worlds. Drinking less and having less casual sex often stem from the same drivers:

• Health-first values. Young people are more likely to weigh alcohol and sex against mental health, sleep, professional goals, and safety—then choose alignment.

• Different social infrastructure. More social life happens online; fewer in-person rituals with built-in community—like parties or bars—means fewer spontaneous hookups and fewer real-world reps of connection skills.

• Premiumization of experiences. When people do drink or do choose intimacy, they often want it to be high-quality, intentional, and aligned with values—less, but more meaningful.

Bottom line: the motivation looks healthy—less numbing, more alignment. The risk is losing shared rituals and community if we don't replace them on purpose.

Is This Good or Bad? (balanced take)

What's good:

• Fewer alcohol harms and hangovers; more permission to honor boundaries.

• Lower teen pregnancy; more explicit consent; a culture shift toward bodily autonomy.

What's not so good:

• Rising loneliness if we drop social rituals without building new ones.

• Declining condom use amid persistent STI threats—safety behaviors need a refresh.

• Substitutions (daily cannabis for daily drinks) that can create new patterns to navigate.

The nuance: Some industry reporting suggests the sobriety "spike" may cool into a steadier "drink less, spend better" habit. In other words, moderation is sticking even if headlines cool off.

Your Practical Playbook

This is where we turn insight into action. Pick the tools that fit your season.

A) The 7-Day "Damp" Experiment

• Day 1–2: Track triggers (Who/what/where makes you want to drink?).

• Day 3–4: Replace the ritual (mocktail, tea ceremony, evening walk, sauna, live music sans alcohol).

• Day 5–6: Social test—do one gathering alcohol-free; invite a friend into it.

• Day 7: Debrief: How was sleep, mood, connection? Decide your next month's default.
  ("Damp" means intention, not perfection. It's training, not shaming.)
  Why this works: It preserves ritual and community, not just removal. Public health guidance agrees: less is better—and sustainable changes stick when they feel good.

B) The Consent & Safety Refresh (for any age)

• Update your script: "I want to check in—are you into this?" (Normalize direct consent. Teens reporting verbal consent at last contact suggests the norm is shifting.)

• Condom comeback: Make condoms and lube a visible default; talk testing early. Condom use slid to ~52% among sexually active teens—adults need refreshers, too.

• Get your info: Find your local testing clinics and over-the-counter contraception options; know your state landscape.

C) Connection > Consumption

• Design sober-social rituals: potluck + board games; house concerts; morning trail walks; cold plunges + coffee; dance class; craft night.

• Belonging audit: Who are your top 5 "support people"? Schedule them this month. The loneliness advisory is not abstract—connection literally extends life.

D) If You're Having Less Sex

• Expand intimacy: Massage swaps, cuddling with consent, partner breathwork, long eye contact, duet singing (yes!), or dancing together—your girl is a Broadway baby; I'm biased.

• Skill up: Communication reps: "What would make this feel safer/more exciting for you?"

• When you do choose sex: Return condoms to the script, add STI testing to the calendar, and keep consent verbaland ongoing.

E) If You Want More Sex (Intentionally)

• Reduce frictions: Get off the phone and get in the world—shared activities beat swiping fatigue.

• Regulate, then relate: Sleep, screens, and stress hijack desire—downshift nervous system first, then pursue connection.

• Values-first dating: Name your non-negotiables before chemistry kicks in.

CLOSING

Here's what I hope you take with you:

• Drinking less and having less casual sex isn't a "fun recession"—it's a values shift toward health, clarity, and consent.

• The opportunity—and the responsibility—is to build new rituals of connection so we don't swap hangovers for loneliness.

• Safety basics need a reboot: consent out loud, and yes, condoms and testing back on the menu.

Weekly check-ins for you:

1. What social rituals will I add that don't revolve around alcohol?

2. How will I meet my needs for touch and closeness this week—sex or no sex?

3. What's one consent or safety step I'm refreshing?

If this resonated, DM me on Instagram @meredithpattersonpodcast, or leave a review on Apple Podcasts—it truly helps this show reach the people who need it most.

And remember: you're allowed to align your life with what nourishes you. Bliss is your birthright.