Attachment: Anxious Meets Avoidant - The Most Common (and Painful) Dance in Marriage

Attachment: Anxious Meets Avoidant - The Most Common (and Painful) Dance in Marriage

In this mini but important episode, Christa tackles the most common, and most painful, dynamic in marriage: the anxious-avoidant pairing. If you've ever felt like you're constantly chasing your spouse for connection while they pull away, or if you feel overwhelmed by a partner who won't give you breathing room, this episode will help you understand why these attachment styles are magnetically drawn to each other and how the pursue-withdraw cycle keeps you stuck. In this intro episode, Christa gives practical steps each partner needs to take to break the cycle and move toward earned secure attachment. The key insight: Your Enneagram type is the engine, your attachment style is the steering, understanding both is where real change begins. Whether you're anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between, this episode gives you language for what's happening and hope that change is possible. Listen right here or watch on YouTube! Need mental health tips in this time? Sign up for the FREE EnneaSummit here! ⁠⁠https://www.tylerzach.com/mh26/enneasummit?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tylerzach.com%2Fa%2F2148228842%2FLS2nNmzL The Enneagram and Marriage Coaching & Certification Masterclass course begins again February 12, use code COACH for discount ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠or at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Listener Requested Interview Flip: Christa’s Work in Marriage &  Family Systems  w/Hannah Hardin, 4

Listener Requested Interview Flip: Christa’s Work in Marriage & Family Systems w/Hannah Hardin, 4

In this special listener-requested episode, the tables turn! Christa's daughter Hannah (the graphic designer behind Enneagram and Marriage) takes over as host to interview Christa about the questions ...

25 Helmi 41min

How Your Type Processes Conflict (Attachment Series Finale) w/Jeff Cook, 1

How Your Type Processes Conflict (Attachment Series Finale) w/Jeff Cook, 1

In this final episode of the attachment series, Christa sits down with another Enneagram expert, Jeff Cook, Enneagram Type 1, philosopher, former pastor, and co-host of the popular Around the Circle E...

23 Helmi 1h 4min

What Secure Attachment Actually Looks Like (And What To Do to Get It!)

What Secure Attachment Actually Looks Like (And What To Do to Get It!)

In this episode, Christa breaks down one of the most hopeful concepts in attachment theory: earned secure attachment. You are NOT stuck with the attachment style you developed in childhood. Whether yo...

18 Helmi 31min

Don't Settle for Lonely: Relationships Your Soul Needs Now w/Alli Patterson, Type 8

Don't Settle for Lonely: Relationships Your Soul Needs Now w/Alli Patterson, Type 8

In this episode, Christa sits down with Alli Patterson, type 8 (8-1 pairing), teaching Pastor at Crossroads Church, author of Blueprint for Belonging and How to Stay Standing, and founder of the Ignit...

16 Helmi 55min

Valentine's Special: Attachment Styles Meet Enneagram for Every Type ❤️

Valentine's Special: Attachment Styles Meet Enneagram for Every Type ❤️

In this episode, Christa continues the February series on Attachment Styles Meets Enneagram by walking through all nine types and exploring two critical questions: How do you attach well to yourself, ...

11 Helmi 28min

This Little Fire of Mine: Addressing Doubt as You Build a Bolder Faith w/Kendall Mariah, Type 3

This Little Fire of Mine: Addressing Doubt as You Build a Bolder Faith w/Kendall Mariah, Type 3

In this conversation, Christa sits down with Kendall Mariah, author of the brand-new book This Little Fire of Mine: How Flickers of Doubt Can Spark a Bolder, Brighter Faith, to explore what happens wh...

9 Helmi 45min

Using Your Voice in Marriage: The Cost of Being Too Quiet w/Colette Jane Fehr, Type 7

Using Your Voice in Marriage: The Cost of Being Too Quiet w/Colette Jane Fehr, Type 7

What if the real reason marriages fail isn't a lack of connection but years of staying silent and avoiding conflict? Licensed marriage and family therapist Colette Jane Fehr joins us in an attachment-...

2 Helmi 41min

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