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Elizabeth Day on Perfectionism, Positive Affirmations & Rebuilding Home After Loss

Author and podcaster Elizabeth Day spent years chasing a vision of the ‘perfect’ home life, only to discover that reality can look very different.

She grew up in the Northern Irish countryside, in a home that was physically safe but shadowed by unrest in the wider community. Childhood fears of monsters under the bed were replaced by the reality of masked terrorists, which has made the concept of home as a place of safety so central to her life today.

In the high-pressure early years of her journalism career at The Evening Standard, Elizabeth sought to create peaceful, restorative spaces – first in her own apartments, and later in the relationships she invested in.

Her path has also been marked by profound challenges: the unexpected breakdown of her first marriage and a 12-year fertility journey that ultimately ended in disappointment. As a high achiever with a clear picture of her life goals, learning to navigate what she describes as “failure” has been far from straightforward.

She describes her life in more recent years as “a dismantling of that and a recovery of who I was at four.”

Her current home and her loving marriage to Justin are built upon the lessons she learned from these experiences. Elizabeth describes finding her home as a moment of fate, as if the universe delivered exactly what she needed.

This episode looks at how perfectionism can take us away from ourselves, and how love and self-compassion can help us feel at home again.

The episode was recorded in Elizabeth’s house in South London.

A full house tour is available to our Patreon community.

Patreon: http://patreon.com/HomingWithMatt

Elizabeth’s new novel, One of Us, is published by 4th Estate and available to purchase in hardback here. You can also preorder a copy of the paperback out (21 May) here.

To hear more from us:

YouTube: Subscribe to our channel, Homing with Matt, to watch the video version

Instagram: @homingwithmatt

TikTok: @homing.with.matt

Contact: Email us at hello@mattgibberd.com

Matt Gibberd’s book, A Modern Way to Live, is available here: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/320176/a-modern-way-to-live-by-gibberd-matt/9780241480496

Music by @simeonwalkermusic

Identity & design by @lena.winkler.creative.office

Produced by @podshoponline

The full visualised studio tour is available to our Patreon community.

Patreon: http://patreon.com/HomingWithMatt

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