I Thought 15 Months Sober Proved I Could Drink Again | Toni Will's Story

Toni Will once believed that going 15 months without alcohol proved she could safely drink again.

So she did.

After an arrest in 2016, Toni stopped drinking and immersed herself in recovery. She attended AA, read the Big Book, chaired meetings, worked with a sponsor and eventually sponsored others. But after 15 months sober, a thought began creeping in: if she could go this long without drinking, maybe she didn’t actually have a problem.

Toni returned to alcohol for another three years.

By 2020, there wasn’t another dramatic rock bottom. Her career was successful, her family was intact, and she was working as a professional hockey executive. But internally, something felt completely out of alignment.

After a girls’ weekend spent drinking around a bonfire, Toni woke up and decided she was sick of the version of herself alcohol was creating. She committed to a 30-day break with every intention of eventually returning to moderation.

More than five years later, she’s still alcohol-free.

In this conversation, Toni and Melissa talk about returning to drinking after sobriety, questioning whether you really have a drinking problem, the exhausting mental gymnastics around alcohol, and why starting with 30 days felt more manageable than committing to forever.

Toni also shares what it was like becoming alcohol-free while working in men’s professional hockey, including the moment she worried her colleagues wouldn’t respect her if she didn’t drink. Her husband’s response changed everything: What if they respect you more for not drinking?

Today, Toni is a hockey executive, speaker, coach, podcast host and author who openly talks about choosing an alcohol-free life.

If you’ve ever taken a break from alcohol, tried moderation, wondered whether your drinking is “bad enough” to stop, or questioned who you would be without it, Toni’s story offers a powerful perspective on what can happen when you listen to that quiet voice telling you something needs to change.

Toni's Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/imtoniwill/

Toni's Website:

https://www.toniwill.com/

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