1721 || when the emotion becomes addictive || healing the shame that binds you

1721 || when the emotion becomes addictive || healing the shame that binds you

"Being nice is primarily a way of manipulating people and situations." - John Bradshaw


"Perfectionism flows from the core of toxic shame. A perfectionist has no sense of healthy shame; he has no internal sense of limits. Perfectionists never know how much is good enough. Perfectionism is learned when one is valued only for doing... Condemning others as bad or sinful is a way to feel righteous. Such a feeling is a powerful mood alteration and can become highly addictive.


"A person who feels flawed and defective feels powerless and helpless. Such a person can alter her feelings of defectiveness by helping and taking care of others. When she is caregiving others, she feels good about herself. So the goal of the caregiver is the caregiving, not the good of the person being cared for. The caregiving is an activity that distracts one from one’s feelings of inadequacy. Distraction is a way to mood-alter. "


- John Bradshaw Healing the Shame that Binds You



John Bradshaw's website.

Buy the book, Healing the Shame that Binds You

Read the TOXIC SHAME article from Very Well Mind.


Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.


Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.


Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund


The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jaksot(1780)

1757 || deep listening for attunement

1757 || deep listening for attunement

Build an attention holding architecture: where it's safe to simply exist. where you can learn to attune to what matters. Get Jenny Odell's Books Here.Buy Jenny Odell's book here.Listen to a different ...

2 Touko 9min

1756 || the usefulness of uselessness

1756 || the usefulness of uselessness

We've been taught to view "productivity" and "worth" and "value" through a capitalistic lens. What if we change our interpretations of these things? What if we start to include "presence" and "experie...

1 Touko 9min

1755 || the goal is extraction

1755 || the goal is extraction

The world is so make it about interaction, instead. The attention economy has spent billions making their product irresistible while convincing us it's our idea to be there. Resist your fear of being ...

30 Huhti 9min

1754 || judge your options not your choice

1754 || judge your options not your choice

When I act in alignment with my core values I feel more confident but what if the decisions I’m stuck with leave me with no choice but to make choices that don’t align and dont fit my desired values f...

29 Huhti 9min

1753 || abandon hope, embrace action

1753 || abandon hope, embrace action

CORE INSIGHTS FROM THE BOOK, "FOUR THOUSAND WEEKS": Embrace finitude: Your life is absurdly short (around 4,000 weeks). Stop trying to “master” time; instead, accept your fundamental limitations.Produ...

28 Huhti 11min

1752 || control the vessel, not the ocean

1752 || control the vessel, not the ocean

We can control our vessel, not the ocean. Life’s default state is a little scary. A little insecure. A little worried. A little vulnerable to the elements. The good news is, those scary vulnerable una...

27 Huhti 9min

1751 || shared leisure + communal rhythm

1751 || shared leisure + communal rhythm

I'm slowly realizing that the key wasn't to get "more free time for myself", the key is to get "more free time together". The highlight should be: Communal rhythm. Coordinated leisure. Planned connect...

26 Huhti 10min

1750 || stay on the bus + prioritize stillness

1750 || stay on the bus + prioritize stillness

Build your tolerance for "chill" and "ease" by scheduling it. Prioritize doing nothing productive. Seek out ways to create that don't have a "payoff" and make it anyway. My addiction to "motion" to "m...

25 Huhti 9min

Suosittua kategoriassa Koulutus

rss-murhan-anatomia
psykopodiaa-podcast
voi-hyvin-meditaatiot-2
adhd-podi
rss-niinku-asia-on
rss-liian-kuuma-peruna
rss-rahamania
jari-sarasvuo-podcast
psykologia
rss-valo-minussa-2
rss-tietoinen-yhteys-podcast-2
kesken
rss-arkea-ja-aurinkoa-podcast-espanjasta
rss-narsisti
rss-vapaudu-voimaasi
rahapuhetta
filocast-filosofian-perusteet
ihminen-tavattavissa-tommy-hellsten-instituutti
kehossa
rss-psykalab