#244: I Healed My Anxious Attachment… So Why Don’t I Want a Relationship Anymore? (Ask Steph)
On Attachment26 Maalis

#244: I Healed My Anxious Attachment… So Why Don’t I Want a Relationship Anymore? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I’m responding to a question I hear more often than you might expect. Someone has done a lot of work on their anxious attachment patterns, they feel more grounded and secure, and now they find themselves with very little interest in dating or relationships.

I talk about how this can sometimes be a natural pendulum swing. When you have spent a long time orienting around other people, trying to be chosen, accommodating, and overextending yourself, it makes sense that there would be a period of pulling back. For many people, that space allows for a real sense of peace, self-expression, and reconnection with who they are outside of a relationship.

At the same time, I explore how this experience can come from different places. For some, it reflects genuine contentment in their single life. For others, there may still be a protective element underneath it, particularly if being in a relationship has historically meant losing themselves.

This episode is about understanding what is actually driving that shift, so you can move forward in a way that is aligned with what you truly want, rather than simply reacting to your past patterns.



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#240: The #1 Thing to Focus On to Heal Anxious Attachment (Ask Steph)

#240: The #1 Thing to Focus On to Heal Anxious Attachment (Ask Steph)

In today’s Ask Steph episode, I’m answering the listener question: If you were only going to focus on one thing to start healing anxious attachment, what would it be?While there are many layers to thi...

12 Maalis 6min

#239: The Anxious Attachment Healing Roadmap

#239: The Anxious Attachment Healing Roadmap

If you've been putting in the work to heal your anxious attachment but still feel like you're treading water, this episode is for you. In today's episode, I'm sharing what I believe are the three core...

10 Maalis 25min

#238: Can a Relationship Survive If Only One Person is Doing the Work? (Ask Steph)

#238: Can a Relationship Survive If Only One Person is Doing the Work? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question I hear often: If I work on my anxious attachment, but my partner doesn’t work on their avoidant patterns, can the relationship still work?I ...

5 Maalis 8min

#237: How Anxious & Avoidant People Differ Around Breakups

#237: How Anxious & Avoidant People Differ Around Breakups

In this episode, we explore one of the most painful dynamics after a breakup: watching your ex seem “fine” while you feel completely unravelled — and the stories that comparison creates. We unpack why...

3 Maalis 18min

#236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

#236: Coping With Separation Anxiety When Your Partner Is Away (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener who says they generally feel secure in their relationship — except when their partner travels and is physically away. During those periods, they expe...

26 Helmi 8min

#235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

#235: What Attachment Theory Does (& Does Not) Explain

Attachment theory has become a widely used framework for understanding relationship patterns — but it’s often misunderstood, overextended, or treated as a complete explanation for human behaviour.In t...

24 Helmi 15min

#234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

#234: What Makes an Avoidant Partner Feel Safe to Open Up? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, we explore one of the most common (and understandable) questions in anxious–avoidant dynamics: what actually helps an avoidant partner feel safe enough to open up emotionall...

19 Helmi 6min

#233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

#233: How to Put an End to Situationships (Once & For All)

Situationships can feel exciting and full of potential, but over time they often become a source of anxiety, confusion, and self-doubt. In this episode, I explore why situationships are so hard to wal...

17 Helmi 14min

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