SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs
Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast12 Elo 2018

SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

Tonight's Gang Bang the Mailbag is the crew's 37th, and they're doing it in force! Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Dirty Lola, Mister Pent, and Dr. Liz Powell get together to answer your questions! You can send them questions to answer by calling 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464) or sending them an email!

Question 1:

I have recently come to the conclusion there is not a God or at least not the way we see god in most major religions and it was freeing. My husband and I started talking about sex and fantasies and I even tried some of the BDSM stuff but the idea of becoming submissive and giving up my free will even for pretend makes me angry and that stuff makes me want to cry and is the complete opposite of a turn on. I know much of it comes from realizing I was told my WHOLE life I had to be submissive to a man and that he was the head of the household an I am sure you have heard this.

My husband really wants to try pet play. I am not judgmental and I keep trying to encourage him to keep looking for someone to act this fantasy out with. He wants me to do it but even watching the videos makes me feel extremely upset especially if they have sound and are barking orders at their pets. I don't find it disrespectful for him to want to engage in this what I do find disrespectful is for him to expect me to somehow learn to enjoy it.

He seems to think I will come around like I did with other things like anal sex which I was very against until I took god out of my live entirely and realized it was not a sin. After that it was painful and he thought it was emotional then I heard an episode of swingset that helped me realize the initial pain would go away if i could relax but I always have a little pain. Ever since then he seems to think if I just keep doing something I will eventually learn to like it. He even tries to do things like tell me to sit while I am already sitting and feed me a "treat." I can't stand it and I have told him so and he just keeps doing it or variations of it. I will put on kitty ears or puppy ears and play dress up but it just seems to drive more of the pushing for more behavior so then I still can't enjoy myself.

The bottom line is that I would really like him to quit trying to make me like things that I have such negative feelings about participating in.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to enjoy his fantasies? Am I being ridiculous or selfish? I really don't know anymore I don't have that false moral compass to guide me anymore.

Question 2:

My husband and I are new to swinging, and I guess you could call us wallflowers. We went to our first club last weekend and just sort of hung out. We're both...reasonably attractive...but didn't get approached at all. I know you always say you should ask for what we want, and it's on us for not doing that, but any other advice for the wallflowers out there?

We're considering your desire trip, and are sorta worried we'd do the same thing at that resort.

Question 3:

My wife and I recently decided to explore the lifestyle. Living in Ottawa there is now really only one active club, we also have become members of a private club, which we truly enjoy in the summer months.

We are still new to this, we are moving slowly, we are more about connections. We enjoy the friends that we have made so far, it is nice to get together with like minded individuals, not having to worry about conversation that at times can become very sexual or hot. Your podcasts have been enlightening about nervousness, rules, boundaries, most of all about inclusiveness.

I am a hetroflexible male and my wife has learned that she is pansexual. The hardest thing we find in the area is that the clubs here are not very open to bisexual men, they also try to exclude single men most times. I understand the reasons that I have been given, they have had and continue to have single men that are too aggressive and do not respect the boundaries.

The one club allows single men on Friday nights. The club also has fetish and kink nights periodically to try and be more inclusive, these events are open to everyone. I feel that I try to be sensitive and caring to everyone. I just think it would be awesome to have an area where everyone can go and have a great, safe and open environment.

My vision would be something something like Oasis in Toronto, but open to everyone, or at least open to all couples, with no bias on gender. To me it would be a start. Thank you for sharing your podcasts, they are very informative.

Question 4:

A couple of years ago my husband asked if we could try a threesome. We were having sexual satisfaction issues due to stress he was dealing with at the time which made me feel insecure.

Recently we've started hooking up with a couple we know. I'm bi and wanted to play with a woman in addition to some swapping. But when it came down to it, I was playing with her and having a great time. Once my husband started playing with her, my insecurities came up and we had a fight because I felt like we rushed into a more intimate level of playing.

The other problem is, I was not attracted to the other husband. And my husband's stress issue reared its ugly head when we played again. The other wife and he were playing she was getting upset about my husband's performance. I wanted to watch and help, which frustrated the other husband.

I really want to be in the lifestyle and I know we really screwed up our approach for the first few times. I feel like a hypocrite about my jealous feelings that come up when I see my husband playing with another woman.

Are we just doomed in the lifestyle? How do you know when to call it quits?

More importantly, how do we approach another couple when I feel like I need so much attention to make sure I feel good?

Question 5:

We're in Detroit and have a group of swingers we play with regularly.

A little bit back, we went to a party where she played solo with a guy without checking in beforehand. I wasn't okay with that, and let her know afterwards. She has played solo in a separate space before and let me know beforehand. So I had assumed she knew to go slow. Mistakes can happen!

Last week we went to a kink party. I saw her kissing the aforementioned solo guy a couple times. But while with me, she excused herself to get a drink when he also did and they instead went to fuck without checking in. I felt abandoned, especially as they continued to play all night.

I told her that I felt betrayed and overlooked, as well as ignored when she reacted defensively without acknowledging my feelings.

We talked the next day without particularly resolving anything and I spun into self loathing and over-analying my actions.I still feel she intentionally ignored me that evening. And there was a huge communication gap between her thinking she was doing me a favor leaving me open to play with others, and the lack of check in and connection I wanted. This is a new level of jealousy I haven't felt before.

Have you ever had this type of situation and how did you handle it?
Could I have dealt with it better at the party?

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our cold open in includes the track パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY.

The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

Jaksot(431)

SS 286: Making Porn: The Sexy, the Silly, & The Mundane, with Kate Sinclaire

SS 286: Making Porn: The Sexy, the Silly, & The Mundane, with Kate Sinclaire

We've talked a lot about porn, often in high falutin ways about its importance (cuz it is important), its ability to change the world (cuz it has that), its danger of extinction (oh my the politics), and its ability to be beautiful. What we haven't discussed much is how sexy it can be, and how silly, sexy, and mundane making it can be. Kate Sinclaire, founder of CherryStems.com joins Dylan Thomas, Dr. Liz Powell, Dirty Lola, and Cooper S. Beckett to talk about living the porn life, both on and off camera. We also end up discussing revenge porn, colonialism and indigenous porn, squirting, and sploshing.   Download Swinger Safari for iOS! Find local swingers, lifestyle clubs, and events, or issue pings to let people know you've arrived! Use promo code LOTSS to get 90 days, free! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!   Cold Open Music: Tokyo Machine - Hype Intro Music: Stonebank - Back to Start (feat. Dylan Dunlap) Outtakes Music: Stephen Walking - One Man Moon Band Reviews Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: Pegboard Nerds - Downhearted (Ryos Remix) [feat. Jonny Rose] Religion / Politics Music: Stonebank - Droppin' Low  Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

4 Touko 20171h 6min

SS 285: Keeping it Sexy in Unsexy Times

SS 285: Keeping it Sexy in Unsexy Times

We've all had the experience of life getting in the way of our sexy. Sometimes life pounds us with things that try to compel us to STAY DOWN. Tonight, Ginger Bentham returns and joins Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, Cooper S. Beckett, and Dylan Thomas to discuss keeping it sexy through the curves life throws at us.   Help us find our Best in Show! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!   Cold Open Music: Tokyo Machine - Hype Intro and Outro Music: Duumu - Recovery Thank You Music: Stephen Walking - Shark City Business Music: Muzzy - Children of Hell Voicemail Music: Summer Was Fun - Pick Up The Phone Mike Joseph's Music: Falcon Funk - Catnip Trip (Perkulat0r Remix)   Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!         Cooper S Beckett   Dylan Thomas   Dirty Lola   Mike Joseph

27 Huhti 20171h 10min

SS 284: The Non-Monogamy Renaissance w/ Andre Shakti

SS 284: The Non-Monogamy Renaissance w/ Andre Shakti

Non-monogamy is riding a wave. Recently CNN had a positive article about the fact that more and more young people are choosing some flavor non-monogamy over traditional relationship forms. Awareness continues to grow exponentially, but with that comes the desperate need for a place to go to ask questions. Like us, our guest, the polyamory pundit Andre Shakti has submitted herself to the often scary world of giving advice. Her new advice column "I Am Poly & So Can You" seeks to temper that awareness with education and advice, and help guide people on their paths to relationship fluidity. She joins the panel with Dirty Lola, Dylan Thomas, and Cooper S. Beckett.   Help us find our Best in Show! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health celebrates its 7th anniversary with Curiosities, an auction to support the CSPH on April 28th at Machines with Magnets in Pawtucket, RI! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!   Intro and Outro Music: Muzzy - Draining Atlantic Outtakes Music: Stephen Walking - Porkchop Express Thank You Music: Stephen Walking - Shark City   Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!         Cooper S Beckett   Dylan Thomas   Dirty Lola

20 Huhti 201758min

SS Special: Cooper and Ginger Talk Approaching the Swingularity

SS Special: Cooper and Ginger Talk Approaching the Swingularity

Ginger continues the two-year tradition by sitting down with Cooper for a frank and intimate discussion about his new novel Approaching the Swingularity: Tales of Swinging & Polyamory, toxic masculinity, inclusion and diversity, sexuality, and sexy vacations and resorts. You can buy the book now RIGHT HERE at ApproachingTheSwingularity.com/ - use promo code SWINGSET at checkout to save 10%! If you still need to catch up, pick up A Life Less Monoagmous here Approaching the Swingularity's Synopsis: "Welcome home…" Those words and a glass of sparkling champagne welcome you to Aphrodite's Resort and Spa, a place of pleasure and debauchery, situated on a strip of white sand beach on the Riviera Maya. Ryan and Jenn are still newbie swingers in many ways when they arrive with their friends, lovers, playmates, and veterans of this trip Bruce and Paige. As this foursome tries to wring out every last drop of pleasure that Aphrodite's has to offer, they're confronted with the realities of life at home, as well as complexities of exploring a life less monogamous, the spectrum of sexuality, budding and waning attraction and love, and how one truly gets the most out of an orgy. Alongside them are Alejandra and Crista, a lesbian couple on their first sexy vacation, recognizing the differences and difficulties in being the only lesbian swingers in the crowd. Raymond Horn is the host extraordinaire, on his tenth trip, who is losing his confidence and direction after watching his partner walk out the door the month before. One hundred and eleven couples have descended on Aphrodite's for a week of the finest food and drink, meeting and flirting, and getting down and debaucherous with friends and lovers alike. They will experience ecstasy and strain, for nothing is quite so intense in non-monogamous lifestyles as seven straight days at a resort filled with like-minded hedonists. Together, they will seize the night. Carpe Noctem! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health celebrates its 7th anniversary with Curiosities, an auction to support the CSPH on April 28th at Machines with Magnets in Pawtucket, RI! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Ginger Bentham Cooper S Beckett

15 Huhti 20171h 5min

SS Off Week: April 2017

SS Off Week: April 2017

Hey Swingset Fans, Dylan Thomas here. It's an off week for the Swingset. We're going to schedule these in every so often because you know what... it's nice to have a week off. Just... pretend I'm sticking my tongue out at you all right now. Anyway, tomorrow night we record together again! Guest Andre Shakti rejoins the swingset and you can listen in, if you support Life on the Swingset by subscribing at SupportSwingset.com. Throw us a dollar an episode! It's a huge help; in addition to keeping the Swingset going it contributes to some big things we're planning in 2018 and.. quite honestly, those big things only happen with your help. As thanks, if you subscribe we'll give you access to our online chat community and if you're able to offer five dollars an episode, you get a sweet pin that I'd be wearing right now ... if I wasn't nude. Hop on supportswingset.com and help us keep this thing going... for you. Thanks, and see you all next week! Or tomorrow, you know... if you wanna.     Music: Feint - Phosphor f/Miyoki

12 Huhti 20171min

SS 283: Ethical Unicorn Hunting in Swinging & Polyamory - Life on the Swingset

SS 283: Ethical Unicorn Hunting in Swinging & Polyamory - Life on the Swingset

While many people enter into non-monogamy when already "coupled," there are some ways that folks approach this transition that can make folks like me feel more like prey than people. While there's nothing wrong with enjoying a threesome or wanting to both date the same person, unicorn hunting can quickly become predatory, coercive, and controlling. So how can you be sure that you're not falling into these patterns? Tonight, we're talking couple privilege and ethical treatment of unicorns.

5 Huhti 20171h 29min

SS 282: Playing with Disability w/ Andrew Gurza

SS 282: Playing with Disability w/ Andrew Gurza

When we talk about privilege, it's usually a matter of race and class, and boils down to us not seeing or not even knowing to look for the issues that others face. Andrew Gurza, our guest tonight, is a Disability Awareness Consultant and Cripple Content Creator, and they join joins Cooper, Dylan, Dr. Liz Powell, and Mike Joseph to talk with us about how disability impacts life, the enormous breadth of the subject across the spectrum of sexuality, race, and class, and how it applies to living an alternative sexual lifestyle. We discussed the intersection between sexuality, disability, and queerness, discussed accommodations queer communities; in bar scenes and gathering places. We touched on disability as a critical dimension of diversity and on what being an ally means.   You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health celebrates its 7th anniversary with Curiosities, an auction to support the CSPH on April 28th at Machines with Magnets in Pawtucket, RI! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.   Intro Music: Tristam - Devotion Outtakes Music: Stephen Walking - Porkchop Express Outtakes Music: Stephen Walking - One Man Moon Band Thank You Music: Stephen Walking - Shark City Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: Tristam & Braken - Frame of Mind   Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!           Cooper S Beckett   Dylan Thomas   Dr. Liz Powell   Mike Joseph

29 Maalis 20171h 10min

SS 281: Finding and Being Community Role Models w/ Kevin Patterson

SS 281: Finding and Being Community Role Models w/ Kevin Patterson

There is a sort of order from chaos that happens when like minded people discover others like themselves. Individuals become clusters, clusters become groups, and with groups come unavoidable growing pains, issues, conflict, and struggle. Still, there's a certain magic that comes from having a group of diverse and motivated people with a common role come together to build something, because when you get it right, you end up with a community. Community role models are essential and tonight, Kevin Patterson joinsCooper, Dylan, Dirty Lola, and Mike Joseph to discuss poly role models and the joys and struggles involved with building sex positive community.   You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. Check out Franklin Veaux's books More Than Two and Game Changer. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health celebrates its 7th anniversary with Curiosities, an auction to support the CSPH on April 28th at Machines with Magnets in Pawtucket, RI! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Android Users: Download and review our Android App! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.   Intro Music: Glacier - Neos Outtakes Music: Stephen Walking - Porkchop Express Outtakes Music: Stephen Walking - One Man Moon Band Thank You Music: Stephen Walking - Shark City Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Outro Music: TwoThirds - Daydreamer   Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!           Cooper S Beckett   Dylan Thomas   Dirty Lola   Mike Joseph

22 Maalis 20171h 38min

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