045. Protecting or Vilifying: How We Relate to Our Parents in CPTSD Resolution

You've probably noticed that your relationship with your parents lives in one of two places: protection or blame. You either minimize what happened to keep the peace, or you've swung into a narrative that finally names the harm but hasn't actually moved anything in your body. In this episode, I unpack the three-phase arc that most CPTSD survivors move through when reckoning with their parents' role in their wounding, and I introduce the concept of Merciful Validation as the earned posture that lives beyond both protection and vilification. Using real-life scenarios like honoring a parent's birthday, we explore what it looks like to hold honest reckoning and genuine mercy at the same time without collapsing into either. If you've ever caught yourself saying "bless their heart" about the people who hurt you and felt something dishonest in it, this episode was made for you.

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About Dr. Tanner Wallace

Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns.

About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast

Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why.

Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system.

Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution.

If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.