779: How to Address Bad Behavior, with Nilofer Merchant

Nilofer Merchart: Our Best Work

Nilofer Merchant is ranked among the world’s top management thinkers by Thinkers50 and is the founder of The Intangible Labs, where she defines the leading indicators of modern work. She’s launched more than 100 products totaling $18B in revenue, and her TED Talk, Sitting Is the Smoking of Our Generation, ranks in the top 10% of all TED Talks. She is the author of Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

When bad behavior happens in an organization, it’s the job of the leader to address it. In this conversation, Nilofer and I explore the strategies and tactics that will help you do this with clarity and effectiveness.

Key Points

Bad behavior isn’t just “bad apples” – it’s also the organizational norms of “the barrel” that reinforce these behaviors.
Most management norms are not persuasive; they are persistent.
Begin by getting clarity on what’s acceptable and what’s not.
Interrupt behavior without escalation. Consider phrases like, “Ouch,” or “I don’t know if you mean to…” or, “Did you intend that to be hurtful?”
Culture is not defined by words on the wall—it’s defined by what happens when someone crosses the line.
Ask everyone to enforce norms, not just the person who was harmed.

Resources Mentioned

Our Best Work: Break Free from the 24 Invisible Norms That Limit Us by Nilofer Merchant (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Way to Be More Coach-Like, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 458)
How to Respond Better When Challenged, with Dolly Chugh (episode 615)
Being Nice May Not Be Kind, with Graham Allcott (episode 767)

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