“Read the Room” Was Not About You: Grief, Boundaries, and the Comments I Didn’t Expect
My Mom Died16 Helmi

“Read the Room” Was Not About You: Grief, Boundaries, and the Comments I Didn’t Expect

I posted a clip that I truly did not think would be controversial. It was a simple point: sometimes you have to read the room and not complain about your mom to someone who just lost theirs. Then the comments went in a completely different direction, and honestly, some of y’all were right to challenge me.


So in this episode, we’re talking about the part nobody wants to admit: grief is not black and white. Some people have moms who hurt them. Some people are grieving parents who are still alive. Some people can “hold space” every time. And some days, you cannot. Both can be true.

We unpack what I meant, what I missed, and how to support a grieving friend without making it about you.


We also talk about emotional capacity, boundaries, and why people in grief sometimes go quiet, get sharp, or just cannot carry one more complaint.

If you have ever felt guilty for not having the energy to show up, or confused about what is “allowed” to be shared around someone grieving, this episode is for you.


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