I Was Alive… But I Wasn’t Living Yet

I’ve never really loved New Year’s Eve. Even as a kid, it always made me feel a little sad, like I could feel time moving before I really understood what that meant. And after my diagnosis, that feeling changed into something deeper. Suddenly, a new year wasn’t about becoming better or fixing myself. It was about being here. Still breathing. Still holding my kids. Still getting another chance at a life I once wasn’t sure I would have.

In this episode, I open up about the moment I realized that even after surviving, I was still quietly postponing my life...waiting for after surgery, after recovery, after the next scan, and after the fear calmed down, while life was happening all around me.

We talk about what it’s really like to live with BRCA, genetic mutations, and hereditary cancer risk. How your relationship with your body changes. How time feels louder. How joy can start to feel risky. And how easy it is to stay in survival mode long after the bravest choices have already been made.

If you’ve ever looked “fine” on the outside but felt like you were still living in the middle of everything on the inside… this episode is for you.

You’re not behind.

You’re healing.

And you don’t have to wait for “after” to start living.

This is your permission to choose life — right now. 🤍

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Jaksot(28)

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