Episode 11- Auld Lame Syne

We will start with some weird stories from the last week of 2017. We’ll give you the lowdown on Melania’s brave battle against Andrew Jackson’s magnolia tree, the greater of two evil PAULs running for senator in Wisconsin, and another classic Cernovich self-own, this time on Reddit!. In the pop culture corner, we’re finally done with Star Wars, so we are ready to move on to its polar opposite. We’re talking about Bright, Netflix’s brand-new inexplicable Will Smith buddy cop movie. Its $90 million budget and attempt to recast race relations as magical clashes have certainly generated a lot of noise. For story time, we are proud to present THE STORY OF 2017. The least important resistance figures of 2017 https://splinternews.com/the-least-important-resistance-figures-of-2017-1821516772 Melania does not respect wood - cornball Chelsea Clinton weighs in http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/chelsea-clinton-thanks-melania-trump-for-preserving-part-of-the-magnolia-tree/article/2644455 The other Paul running against Paul Ryan is a straight up nazi http://money.cnn.com/2017/12/27/media/paul-nehlen-steve-bannon-breitbart/index.html Cernovich owned on Reddit https://splinternews.com/mike-cernovich-s-reddit-ama-backfires-spectacularly-1821538191 Bright is the opposite of The Last Jedi in terms of critics-vs-audience scores https://qz.com/1165113/rotten-tomatoes-scores-for-star-wars-the-last-jedi-and-netflixs-bright-do-critics-still-matter/ Jeff Weiner of LinkedIn loves it https://twitter.com/jeffweiner/status/943546406643609600 The algorithmic design of Bright https://qz.com/1161921/netflixs-will-smith-movie-bright-acts-like-algorithms-made-it/ Scorned makeup artists on the Bright set http://www.indiewire.com/2017/12/bright-end-credits-left-off-makeup-artists-studio-adi-1201911081/ Chance the Rapper on Bright’s insane recharacterization of race relations http://www.vulture.com/2017/12/chance-the-rapper-wants-to-talk-race-and-netflixs-bright.html Barron thinking Kathy Griffin actually beheaded Trump http://www.tmz.com/2017/05/31/barron-trump-thought-donald-beheaded-image-real/ Bill Maher’s Milo interview https://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/see-bill-maher-milo-yiannopoulos-talk-free-speech-trolling-w467783 TPUSA’s diaper stunt and the alt right-not wiping bottoms out of homophobia https://www.buzzfeed.com/juliegerstein/listen-up-men-we-need-to-talk-about-how-to-wipe-your?utm_term=.swwkVdMrN#.lhwjo6bk7 I love my thicc wife http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/08/man-dragged-for-instagram-post-about-loving-curvy-wife.html Kurt Eichenwald’s tentacle porn story https://news.avclub.com/newsweek-s-kurt-eichenwald-was-just-looking-at-tentacle-1798263101 Guy suspended from twitter for sexual harassment against Tony the Tiger https://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/you-can-release-your-great-all-inside-me-daddy?utm_term=.jlzGx4zyW#.jbK5Zwb0K Kellyanne hawks Ivanka’s ghastly consumer products http://www.cnn.com/videos/cnnmoney/2017/02/09/kellyanne-conway-nordstrom-ivanka-nr.cnn?iid=EL Sean “Holocaust Center” Spicer at the Emmys/Spicer at Harvard https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2017/09/colbert-emmys-sean-spicer-skit http://iop.harvard.edu/fellows/sean-spicer The Mooch New Yorker “interview” w/ Ryan Lizza https://www.newyorker.com/news/ryan-lizza/anthony-scaramucci-called-me-to-unload-about-white-house-leakers-reince-priebus-and-steve-bannon Chris Christie on the beach https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/03/nyregion/chris-christie-beach-new-jersey-budget.html DO I LOOK LIKE I WAS LEFT OFF BAD N BOUJEE http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/bet-awards-2017-joe-budden-migos-confrontation-fight-bad-and-boujee-left-out-a7808336.html Tyrese Gibson’s meltdown http://people.com/movies/tyrese-gibson-sobs-please-dont-take-my-baby-in-emotional-plea-to-ex-wife/