Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 508 Touko

How Long Should You Actually Last in Bed? The Answer Will Surprise You | Ep. 172

In this episode, I'm going straight at the myth that has quietly wrecked the confidence of more men than I can count: how long you're supposed to last in bed. Spoiler — the benchmark most men are measuring themselves against isn't based in reality. It comes from porn, locker room exaggeration, and years of silence between partners who never actually had the conversation. I break down what the science actually says (the average is about five to six minutes, not 20 or 30), share a real client story, and explain why the real problem isn't your body — it's your benchmark. I also cover what women genuinely want from sex, why performance anxiety starts in your head long before you get anywhere near the bedroom, and practical steps to feel more present, more confident, and more connected with your partner.

In this episode:

00:00 Hook & Podcast Introduction

00:55 The 20-Minute Myth — Where It Comes From

01:55 What the Research Says About Sex Duration

02:50 Why You're Struggling With Pressure, Not Performance

03:35 Real Client Story: Shame, Avoidance, and Breakthrough

04:20 What Women Actually Want in Bed

05:10 Ad: Firm Tech Max PR

05:35 Redefining Good Sex From Scratch

06:20 Practical Tools for Control, Presence, and Connection

07:10 When to See a Doctor or Sex Therapist

07:35 Final CTA and Outro

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Want to enhance intimacy and confidence? Check out my curated products page at https://www.taboototruth.com/shop

Get 15% off the Max PR from Firm Tech with code TABOO15 at myfirmtech.com

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Inside a Sex Club and a Kink Club for the First Time: What I Learned | Ep. 203

In this episode, I'm sharing something completely different: a firsthand account of a weekend I had in Montreal. I was there for an Advanced SAR — a Sexual Attitude Reassessment, the kind of training ...

22 Syys 17min

The Male G-Spot 101: The Truth About Prostate Massage, Risk, and the Anus Myth | Ep. 202

The prostate, also called the male G-spot, is a walnut-sized gland most straight men never want to talk about, and this episode is exactly that conversation. I get into what it does, how it's tied to ...

18 Syys 18min

How To Fix Performance Anxiety In The Bedroom, According To Sex Coach Alex Grendi | Ep. 201

In this episode, I'm talking with Alex Grendi, a men's intimacy and confidence coach who spent years quietly numbing his own performance anxiety before he understood what was actually driving it. Alex...

15 Syys 20min

Why Your Marriage Went Sexless — And How to Talk About It Again | Ep. 200

In this episode, I'm kicking off season 7 — and marking 200 episodes of Taboo to Truth — with one of the topics that comes up in my practice more than almost anything else: sexless marriages. From the...

12 Syys 14min

The Secret to Reconnecting in a Sexless Marriage with Coach Mike Elliott | Ep. 198 (Part 2)

In part two of my conversation with men's coach Mike Elliott, we get into how couples actually reconnect and rebuild intimacy after a sexless marriage, low desire, or years of disconnection in midlife...

8 Syys 23min

The Impact of Sexual Rejection: What It Does to Your Brain, Body & Relationship | Ep. 199

Chronic sexual rejection in a relationship doesn't just cause hurt feelings, it rewires how a person feels about themselves, their body, and their worth.In this episode I break down what's actually ha...

4 Syys 16min

The Secret to Reconnecting in a Sexless Marriage with Coach Mike Elliott | Ep. 198 (Part 1)

Every conversation about a sexless marriage gets pointed at the woman. Low desire, hormones, resentment, the mental load, she's the one who's supposed to explain herself. Nobody asks what happens on t...

1 Syys 22min

Dating After Divorce: What Nobody Tells You About Starting Over After 50

Dating after divorce isn't a downgrade. It's the first time you get to pick a partner with your eyes wide open, and that's exactly what I'm digging into this episode.I walk through what's genuinely di...

28 Elo 7min