How Sexual Abuse Shaped My Addiction and My Relationship With Men

In episode 36 of F The Stigma Podcast, host Laisha Martinez sits down with Ashley Pertuno, who bravely shares her story of surviving childhood abuse by a close family member, the trauma that fueled her addiction, and the mental health battles that followed her into adulthood. Ashley reveals how this pain shaped her relationships with men, pushed her deeper into substance use, and followed her through both her basketball career and her time serving in the military. From hitting rock bottom to fighting her way back to recovery, Ashley’s story is a raw and powerful look at trauma, addiction, resilience, and the strength it takes to rebuild your life after years of darkness.

*Apologies for the change in audio quality around the 17:00 mark, we experienced technical difficulties*

Chapters |

00:00 Welcome & Podcast Introduction

00:43 Ashley’s Childhood and Family Life

02:10 Experiencing Trauma and Navigating Shame

05:07 When Did the Secret Come Out?

06:49 The Challenges of Sharing and Healing

08:27 Speaking Truth, Baby Steps Toward Healing

10:27 Substances Enter the Picture

13:20 High School Struggles & Coping with Addiction

16:00 Mental Health Battles and Suicidal Thoughts

17:38 First Treatment & The ‘Great Pretender’

18:32 Addiction Progression and Chasing Stability

20:26 College Athletics and Hidden Addiction

22:45 Joining the Military: A New Escape

25:14 Military Life, Structure, and Drinking

28:44 Life After the Military: Back to Delaware

30:52 Addiction to Love and Relationships

34:29 Chasing Toxic Relationships

38:58 The Spiral Into Harder Drugs

41:53 The Depths of Addiction: Love in the Trenches

45:19 Rock Bottom: A Winter to Remember

48:04 First Real Treatment Experience

52:14 Finding Recovery & a New Perspective

55:27 Baby Steps, Willingness, and Long-Term Recovery

58:48 Value of Sobriety & Recovery Stories

01:01:28 Why Recovery Time Matters

01:04:15 The Insanity of Addiction

01:06:47 Hardest Parts of Recovery: Relationships

01:10:15 Discovering Self-Worth in Recovery

01:13:18 Addiction as a Disease – Personal Insight

01:18:55 Genetics, Awareness, and Stigma

01:22:11 Closing Thoughts & Thank You

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Fuck the Stigma is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that believes people shouldn’t be judged or labeled based on their mental health status. Whether you are struggling with an addiction or have been taking meds for a diagnosis, our community doesn’t judge and seeks to collectively end the stigma around mental health.

Our mission is to normalize mental health and mental illness as widespread, treatable, and acceptable. We do this by providing useful resources, improving access to services for those who need help, sharing stories, and building a community of young people who all agree…

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