688: Dr. Henry Cloud - The Difference Between a Dream & a Vision, Why Revenue Is Not a Goal, the 5-Step Model for Achieving Any Goal, and Why the Highest Performers Seek the Most Coaching

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Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, leadership consultant, and New York Times bestselling author whose books have sold nearly 20 million copies worldwide. His titles include Boundaries, Integrity, Necessary Endings, and Trust. For three decades, he has worked with leaders, helping them close the gap between where they are and where they want to be. His newest book is Your Desired Future: The Five Essential Steps That Take You Where You Want to Go.

Key Learnings

Henry's five-step model for getting from here to there:

• Vision (clear and compelling)
• Talent (engaging the right people around you)
• Strategy and plan (how you'll win)
• Measurement and accountability (how you'll know)
• Fix and adapt (course-correcting in real time)

At the age of 16, Henry's daughter asked, "Dad, how do people become singer-songwriters?" Henry went out to the garage and brought in his whiteboard. Lucy rolled her eyes. He gave her the five-step model. A couple years later, she published a song called "Crash and Learn" that got bought by CBS, the CW Network, and featured on Spotify and Apple Music.

We tend to create departments and businesses in our own image. Of the five components, we're going to be good at two, maybe three. But the others still have to happen. That's where most leaders fail.

Only humans can picture a desired future state. Finley is Henry's Doberman. When the FedEx guy comes to the door, she runs to it, and barks every time. Henry has never seen her stop and ask herself: "I wonder if that barking will help me get to where I want to be on Thursday." Most leaders are operating like Finley. Working hard. Doing what they've always done. Never stopping to ask if any of it is getting them where they want to be.

You need an observing ego. The worst thing you can do is hit the accelerator harder when you're going down the wrong road and you don't even know where you're going.

Tony Blair, while Prime Minister, spent half a day a week sitting by himself next to a pond in reflection. Warren Buffett spends an hour and a half a day at his desk staring out the window.

A revenue number is not a vision. The single worst vision statement Henry ever heard: "We want to be a $50 million company." It provides no clarity of what the company is going to do.

A vision is a compelling picture of a future state that makes people want to sacrifice for it. If your vision wouldn't inspire anyone to get out of bed early, it's a metric, not a vision.

Will Guidara created a "dream maker" role at Eleven Madison Park. Their job: listen for clues from guests, then create a personalized, unexpected, memorable experience the guest will never forget and tell everyone about.

Trust Fuels Investment. People invest in leaders who feel like they understand them. You're taking your team into a war. They've got to have deep trust with you. The first thing a leader has to do is develop deep, deep trust and let their team know that they understand the pressure they're under.

"A vision can die without a plan or without people."

Alan Mulally's weekly 7:00 AM Thursday meeting at Ford. Every VP had to give every project a red, yellow, or green status. When Mulally first arrived, the company was hemorrhaging money. Everyone was holding up green. He said: "How can you be holding up green when here's the reality over here? I need some reality in here." When one VP finally held up red, Mulally moved him to sit next to him.

The wrong view of accountability is looking back to spank somebody for what they didn't do. The right view of accountability is a tool to make sure we reach our destination.

You get what you create or what you allow. Henry was working with a global CEO whose team had cultural problems. Henry kept asking, "Why is that?" After a few rounds, the CEO finally said, "I guess I am ridiculously in charge, aren't I?" If you are the one actually in charge, you are ridiculously in charge. Either you're creating it, or you're allowing it.

Accountability answers two questions:

1. Did we do what we said we were going to do? If not, why not? Don't just tell people to "do better." Run a root cause analysis. Maybe they don't have the tools. Maybe you gave them competing goals. Maybe it's a leadership problem.
2. If we executed perfectly, did we get the result we expected? If yes, pour on the gas. If no, go back up the model and adjust your strategy.

Most leaders measure goals, not activities. Goals are lagging indicators. You can measure them after it's over. It's too late. Measure activities. Did we do this week what we said we were going to do?

Micro drivers matter. Henry worked with a CEO who built multi-billions in valuation from a one-office company who was excellent with micro drivers. It's an atomic compression of the 80/20 rule. He knew the specific activities at each level of the business that actually moved the needle, and he made those objects of extreme awareness, focus, training, and deliberate practice.

Peter Drucker said, "Nothing's worse than perfectly executing the wrong things."

The number one thing the greatest leaders share: character. Not moral or ethical character. Your makeup as a person. How you're glued together. Integrity comes from the word that means wholeness. The great performers are drivers of tasks and relationships.

The highest performers utilize coaching the most. Henry expected the disastrous leaders to be the ones calling. It was the exact opposite. The ones crushing it are the ones who reach out. The struggling ones rarely do.

The greatest leaders reverse the law of entropy: things get worse over time. But entropy only applies to a closed system. Open the system to a new energy source from the outside plus intelligence to organize it, and you can reverse it. That's what coaches, mentors, and advisors do. A leader is a closed system when the only voices they're ever listening to are the ones in their head.

The greatest leaders embrace negative realities. They move toward problems. Not to nuke them, but to either resolve them or transform them into something better.

Reflection Questions

• In how many areas of your life are you just barking at the door, working hard at activities without ever stopping to ask if any of it is getting you where you want to go?
• Is your current vision a metric, or a compelling picture of a future state that would make people want to sacrifice for it?
• Where in your life are you a closed system? Whose voices outside your head could open you up to new energy and intelligence?

More Learning

#229 - Dr. Henry Cloud: Be So Good They Can't Ignore You

#050 - Dr. Henry Cloud: Integrity is the Wake You Leave Behind

#682 - Will Guidara: Adversity is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Podcast Chapters

00:00 The Price of Becoming – Pre-Order Now!

01:13 Meet Dr. Henry Cloud

02:40 The Leadership GPS: Where Are You Going?

04:54 Step 2: Building the Right Team Around You

06:09 Steps 3-5: Strategy, Measurement, and Adapt

10:45 Why the Best Leaders Carve Out Time to Think

15:50 Why a Revenue Number Is Not a Vision

18:20 Crafting a Vision People Will Sacrifice For

23:12 The HVAC Story, Joe Girard, and the Dream Maker

27:38 Trust: The First Thing Every Leader Must Build

30:04 Alan Mulally's Red-Yellow-Green Meeting at Ford

32:38 How to Run Status Reviews That Actually Work

34:26 Accountability Should Be an Immune System, Not Autoimmune

38:18 Measure Activities, Not Goals

43:10 Micro Drivers: The Atomic 80/20 Rule

45:14 The Voices Outside Your Head: Peers and Accountability

47:47 The #1 Trait of Sustained Excellence: Character

50:39 The Greatest Leaders Reverse Entropy

56:17 EOPC