Why Some Couples Have Better Sex After Kids

After kids, a lot of couples assume intimacy is supposed to disappear. You’re exhausted, touched-out, overwhelmed by logistics, carrying invisible mental load — and somewhere along the way, sex can start to feel complicated, distant, or impossible to even talk about.

But what if the story is more nuanced than that?

In this episode, Dr. Becky talks with board-certified OB/GYN, sexual wellness expert, and Chief Medical Officer at Hers, Dr. Jessica Shepherd, about new survey data exploring what actually happens to intimacy in long-term relationships and parenthood.

They discuss:

• why some married couples report better sex after kids
• how vulnerability changes intimacy
• the connection between mental load and desire
• hormones, perimenopause, and libido
• why “whose fault is this?” is often the wrong question
• what it means to approach intimacy from a same-team perspective

This conversation is honest, practical, funny at times — and ultimately hopeful. Because intimacy is about feeling seen, understood, connected, and able to locate yourself inside your relationship again.

Dr. Becky wrote up a few tips for talking to your partner about intimacy after kids. You can read those here.

Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

• Skylight: Get $30 off a 15-inch Skylight Calendar at myskylight.com/becky
• LMNT: Get a free 8-count sample pack with your purchase at LMNT.com/goodinside
• Oso & Me: Use the code OSOGOOD15 for 15% off clothes newborn through age ten

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