#19: MBT 1 on 1 Therapy > Between Searching for Yourself and Letting Go of Old Patterns

🎙️ Special Episode – “Between Searching for Yourself and Letting Go of Old Patterns”

Welcome to this special episode of the MBT podcast.

In this episode, you are once again given a unique insight into a one-on-one therapy session — a space where thoughts, emotions, and patterns become visible as they unfold in everyday life.

What makes this session powerful is that a clear shift becomes visible. Not just in behavior, but in identity. The question moves from how do I deal with situations? to who am I, and what do I actually want?

Today, we listen to a conversation where someone begins to move away from old patterns, while at the same time searching for a new way of living, feeling, and connecting.

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🧠 What this episode explores

Rediscovering yourself

When you have spent years adapting and responding to others,

it can be confronting to turn inward.

What do I want?

What do I feel?

What truly fits me?

This session shows how these questions start to take center stage —

bringing both clarity and uncertainty at the same time.

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New energy through real connection

An important insight emerges:

when you are genuinely present in connection with others, without losing yourself, everything changes.

Conversations shift.

Connections deepen.

And recognition no longer comes only from others —

but also from within.

For the first time, there is space not only to see others,

but to be seen yourself.

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Setting boundaries in relationships

The session highlights how challenging it can be to stay true to yourself within relationships.

Especially when others, often with good intentions, try to “fix” or help you.

The challenge is not only to understand,

but also to say:

“This is not what I need.”

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Stepping out of old dynamics

Where there used to be automatic adaptation or problem-solving,

a different movement is now emerging.

No longer taking everything personally.

No longer carrying all responsibility.

But asking:

what belongs to me —

and what belongs to the other?

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The feeling of not being seen

A deep recurring theme is the feeling of not being taken seriously.

When someone does not acknowledge your experience,

it can directly touch old patterns:

I don’t matter

I am not seen

This session shows that it is possible to respond differently to this —

without losing yourself.

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The power of slowing down

A key difference becomes visible:

where there used to be immediate reactions,

there is now space to slow down.

To pause.

To feel.

To reflect.

And it is in that space

that real change begins.

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Old patterns still present

Even with growth and awareness,

old reactions still appear.

Irritation.

Control.

Doubt.

And with that comes an important question:

Is this an old pattern… or is this who I am now?

This uncertainty is not a setback —

it is part of the process.

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🌟 The common thread

The central theme of this episode

is the search for a new identity.

No longer living from patterns that once ensured survival,

but slowly moving toward what truly fits.

This process is not linear.

It is uncomfortable.

It is uncertain.

It shifts constantly.

But within that movement,

space begins to open.

Mentalizing helps you not to react immediately,

but to reflect on what is happening —

within yourself and within others.

And perhaps most importantly:

to tolerate not knowing.

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💬 Closing

This episode shows that change is not only about doing things differently,

but about seeing yourself differently.

It is a process of discovering, letting go, and choosing again.

And sometimes, the most important step is not finding the right answer,

but allowing yourself to feel:

“This is me… and I am allowed to be here.”