“Creation Is Always There": How Emily & Nate Found Joy, Creativity, and Each Other After Infertility

The opinions and perspectives shared in this episode are those of Dr. Clay Brigance, Ginny Lupka, and Emily Hockstra and are intended for educational and informational purposes only as part of the Love & Infertility podcast. The content discussed is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or therapeutic advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need assistance navigating infertility, reproductive trauma, or mental health concerns, please consult your healthcare professional or a licensed therapist in your area.

This episode may contain topics that can be upsetting to some listeners including infertility and reproductive trauma, egg donation, miscarriage and pregnancy loss, medical procedures (including IVF and IUI), childlessness, and mental health challenges.

Welcome to Episode 3 of Love & Infertility, the podcast created for couples navigating the emotional rollercoaster of infertility, IVF, IUI, miscarriage, and reproductive trauma together. In this episode, hosts and therapists Dr. Clay Brigance and Ginny Lupka sit down with author, mindset coach, and speaker Emily Silva Hockstra to hear her deeply moving story of love, loss, and creation.

Emily opens with a reading from her book Sunset Gratitude — a grounding meditation on hope and heartbreak — before sharing her story of marrying at 37, being diagnosed with Primary Ovarian Insufficiency (POI), and facing a 1% chance of natural conception. After exploring IVF, egg donation, and adoption, Emily and her husband Nate chose a childfree life. What followed was years of grief, therapy, shame, and anger… and ultimately, a marriage and a creative life more beautiful than either had imagined.

What sets Emily and Nate apart is not just what they survived, but how they survived it. Emily's framework — redefining creation, releasing titles, and holding grief and joy at the same time — is both practical and profound.

What You’ll Learn:

(04:13) The egg donor decision — and why it wasn't right for Emily emotionally

(06:26) Choosing a childfree life

(10:13) Shame, DNA, and the grief of legacy

(17:15) Redefining creation: how writing became Emily's version of giving birth

(20:39) Three years of grief journaling and how it led to Sunset Gratitude

(29:23) When joy starts coming back, it can arrive with guilt and shame

(33:26) Holding grief and joy at the same time and why it doesn't need to make sense

(37:18) Emily's message to couples: find a creative outlet, redefine life together, release the title

Resources Mentioned:

Emily’s Books:

• Sunset Gratitude: 365 Hopeful Meditations for Peaceful and Reflective Evenings All Year Long by Emily Silva-Hockstra

• Moonlight Gratitude: 365 Nighttime Meditations for Deep, Tranquil Sleep All Year Long by Emily Silva-Hockstra

• Sunrise Gratitude: 365 Morning Meditations for Joyful Days All Year Long by Emily Silva-Hockstra

• Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May

• RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association

• Abby McHale

LET’S CONNECT:

Emily Silva Hockstra

• Instagram

• Website

  
  

  Dr. Clay Brigance

• Instagram: @dr_claybrigance

• Website: www.drclaybrigance.com

  
  

  Ginny Lupka

• Instagram: @ginnylupkacounseling

• Substack: "That's Our Time"

  Website: www.ginnylupkacounseling.com