425. Why we want people who don't want us back

425. Why we want people who don't want us back

Why do we become obsessed with people who don't want us back? Even when we know it will never work? Even when we know there's no convincing them? In this episode, we unpack the psychology behind unrequited love, limerence, longing, and the irresistible pull of unavailable people, including:

  • The neuroscience of craving, attraction, and obsession
  • How intermittent reinforcement keeps us emotionally hooked
  • Jacques Lacan's "object of desire" theory
  • Why high achievers often struggle with unrequited love
  • The role of limerence, fantasy, and idealisation
  • The Zeigarnik Effect and our need for closure
  • Practical strategies to finally move on and let go
  • Creating your own closure when none is given
  • Plus so so much more

If you've ever found yourself unable to stop thinking about someone who doesn't feel the same way, this episode is for you. Together, we'll explore why it happens, what it reveals about us, and how to break free from the cycle

Watch on Netflix: HERE

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Jaksot(429)

430. The psychology of job interviews

430. The psychology of job interviews

When we go for a job interview, it can feel as if our entire existence is being judged. It can come down to the feeling of someone else getting to call the shots on whether we are intellectually compe...

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429. The reality of chronic illness in your 20s ft. Nikki Lilly

429. The reality of chronic illness in your 20s ft. Nikki Lilly

Living with a chronic illness in your 20s can feel like carrying an invisible weight that nobody else can see. Beyond the hospital appointments, surgeries, medications and diagnoses, there is a hidden...

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428. The truth about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

428. The truth about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs is one of the most famous theories in psychology. We've all seen the pyramid. We've all been told that before we can become our best selves, we need to climb through five l...

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427. What to do when a 9-5 doesn't fulfil you?

427. What to do when a 9-5 doesn't fulfil you?

Most of us will spend the majority of our adult lives working. So why does the traditional 9–5 leave so many people feeling exhausted, trapped, unfulfilled, or quietly wondering: is this really it? I...

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426. The psychology of superstition

426. The psychology of superstition

Superstitions can seem irrational on the surface, but beneath them is something incredibly human - the need for meaning, comfort, and a sense of control in an uncertain world. In this episode, we expl...

8 Kesä 46min

424. How to ACTUALLY change your bad habits ft. Harvard Behavioural Scientist, Julia Dhar

424. How to ACTUALLY change your bad habits ft. Harvard Behavioural Scientist, Julia Dhar

We all have something about our behaviour or our lives we really want to change. But every time we go to try, we find we lose motivation very quickly and end up back where we started with the behaviou...

1 Kesä 1h 1min

423. You need more hobbies...here's how you do it

423. You need more hobbies...here's how you do it

Your hobbies may be just as important as your friendships in your 20s. But whilst you may dedicate 10-15 hours a week to your friends, most of us can go a week or two without actually performing our h...

30 Touko 37min

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