The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Huhti 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2017

Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2017

Russia’s interference in the 2016 election is now undisputed. What’s less clear is the role of the country’s media. A Times reporter went to Moscow to see how the Kremlin is waging an information war against the West. Guest: Jim Rutenberg, media columnist for The Times who recently returned from Russia. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Syys 201721min

Tuesday, Sept.12,  2017

Tuesday, Sept.12, 2017

He loves Whitney Houston, the Chicago Bulls and intercontinental ballistic missiles: what we know about the 33-year-old dictator of North Korea. And the latest on the United Nations plan for sanctions against North Korea, which fall significantly short of the penalties the Trump administration proposed last week. Guests: David E. Sanger, our chief Washington correspondent; Choe Sang-Hun, the Korea correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Syys 201721min

Monday, Sept. 11, 2017

Monday, Sept. 11, 2017

Hurricane Irma roared into Florida, where, in the wake of Hurricane Harvey, an apocalyptic forecast forced one of the largest evacuations in American history. Guests: Jean Eisen, a 93-year-old in Miami who refused to evacuate; Antonella Giannantonio, a 51-year-old Miami resident who drove north on Wednesday and stopped in Tampa, where she is now in the path of the storm; Jess Bidgood, a Times reporter in Tampa. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Syys 201719min

Friday, Sept. 8, 2017

Friday, Sept. 8, 2017

President Trump has called Representative Nancy Pelosi “incompetent” and called Senator Chuck Schumer a “loser.” Now he’s striking deals with Ms. Pelosi and Mr. Schumer, the two most powerful Democrats in Washington, and sending out tweets at their request. Guests: Glenn Thrush, a White House correspondent for The New York Times; Mr. Schumer, who gives Carl Hulse, The Times’s chief Washington correspondent, his version of the story. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Syys 201720min

Thursday, Sept. 7, 2017

Thursday, Sept. 7, 2017

Senator Richard J. Durbin spent 16 years trying to pass immigration legislation in Congress. It failed under President George W. Bush. It failed under President Obama. Could the decision to end the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program bring legislation under President Trump? We hear from Mr. Durbin, whom our colleague Yamiche Alcindor interviewed the day DACA was rescinded. Guest: Sheryl Gay Stolberg, who covers Congress for The Times and has a long history of writing about the Dream Act. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Syys 201718min

Wednesday, Sept. 6, 2017

Wednesday, Sept. 6, 2017

How the end of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, known as DACA, is being framed as a legal matter — and how the Obama administration allowed that to happen. Guests: Peter Baker, who covers the White House; Cecilia Muñoz, who was President Barack Obama’s chief domestic policy adviser when he signed DACA. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Syys 201720min

Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2017

Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2017

Kris Ford-Amofa and her husband had spent six years saving for their $180,000 home in Houston. During Harvey, they gathered with Kris’s youngest sister and their combined six children, watching as waters seeped in. The story of one family’s return home a week after Harvey. Guests: David E. Sanger, chief Washington correspondent for The New York Times; Jack Healy, who has been reporting from Houston; Ms. Ford-Amofa and her sister, Miesha Jolly. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Syys 201726min

Bonus: Senator Jeff Flake Interview

Bonus: Senator Jeff Flake Interview

“The Daily” is taking a long Labor Day weekend and will be back on Tuesday. For today, here’s an episode of a new series we’re working on called “The New Washington,” where Times political reporters interview key figures in the capital. Last week, Carl Hulse spoke to Senator Jeff Flake, Republican of Arizona. You can subscribe to “The New Washington” wherever you get your podcasts. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

1 Syys 201727min

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