Needy No More: Anxious Attachment Healing14 Kesä

How to Choose Yourself (Even If You're Scared of Ending Up Alone) ft. Kate Anthony

Kate Anthony spent sixteen years believing she might never be chosen again.

After leaving the emotionally abusive, narcissistic husband she married at 28, she threw herself back into dating, retreated, got knocked flat by a relationship she says nearly broke her, and slowly rebuilt through therapy, twelve-step work, and getting sober in 2018. Somewhere in that messy, nonlinear stretch she stopped bending herself into a pretzel to be chosen and started choosing herself instead, fully willing to stay single for the rest of her life. Then she met Ethan.

In this episode, I sit down with Kate (divorce coach, author of The D Word, and host of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast) to unpack how she went from an anxious, codependent woman who once had panic attacks in relationships, to finding out she's actually secure given the right conditions. We get into:

Why "you might not meet your person" is a freeing truth, not a cruel one
The two conditions that made Kate's secure attachment come alive
How to actually identify your own values (including Kate's brilliant "mud bath value")
How self-knowledge builds self-esteem, which builds self-trust
Spotting a genuinely intentional partner (and why values on full display matter)
The difference between attracting toxic people and letting them stay
Reclaiming the word victim without losing your agency
Why "stay together for the kids" can backfire on the kids
The role sobriety played in her healing, plus my own 500+ days alcohol-free

If you're an anxious attacher wondering whether your person is out there, this conversation hands you something far more valuable than reassurance: a way to come home to yourself first.

Healing resources for anyone struggling with anxious attachment

Read dozens of free blogs on how to heal the anxious attachment style on my website, crackliffe.com
Grab a copy of my new book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment, at crackliffe.com/needy
Learn more about the Needy No More coaching program and set up a free consultation at crackliffe.com/coaching
Follow @crackliffe on Instagram and TikTok for tons more content on all things healing anxious attachment

Connect with Kate

Website: kateanthony.com

Podcast: The Divorce Survival Guide

Instagram: @kateanthony_divorcecoach

Book: The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage

Mentioned in this episode

Burn the Haystack by Jennie Young
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace

Keywords

anxious attachment, healing anxious attachment, anxious to secure attachment, secure attachment, attachment styles, codependency, self-abandonment, people pleasing, choosing yourself, self-trust, self-knowledge, dating with intention, values alignment, dating after divorce, finding love again, fear of being alone, discernment in dating, Kate Anthony, Divorce Survival Guide, divorce coach, emotional abuse, narcissistic relationship, narcissistic abuse recovery, coercive control, leaving an abusive marriage, stay together for the kids, victim and survivor, Burned Haystack dating method, Jennie Young, modern dating, dating apps, sobriety, sober curious, This Naked Mind, Annie Grace

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(22)

The Hidden Strengths of Anxious Attachment (That You've Been Told Are Weaknesses)

For so long, I internalized the message that my anxious attachment style was the problem—that in order to have the love I wanted, I needed to be less. Less sensitive. Less expressive. Less needy. And ...

31 Touko 16min

What Healing Anxious Attachment Actually Looks Like ft. Christina Melgar Thomssen

Today's episode is one of the most personal conversations I've had on the show—because my guest, Christina Melgar Thomssen, has been on both sides of the work. She first came to me as a client in late...

17 Touko 44min

How to Date Online Without Losing Your Mind ft. Erika Ettin

If you've ever spiraled after a match went quiet, overthought whether to confirm a date, or locked down a relationship label too early just to feel safe—this episode is for you.This week, I'm sitting ...

3 Touko 50min

Your Brain Thinks Your Ex Is a Drug (And Here's How to Detox) ft. Lucy Price

If you've ever gone through a breakup and felt like you were losing your mind, obsessively checking their Instagram, unable to eat or sleep, constantly replaying every conversation, I want you to know...

19 Huhti 51min

Why Are We Punishing Ourselves for Wanting Love?

Have you ever held back from sending that text? Talked yourself out of being excited about someone? Wondered if you were "too much"—too eager, too open, too real?This episode is for you.I'm fired up t...

12 Huhti 14min

The 3 Breakups That Broke Me

Healing anxious attachment is deeply personal work. And I know that better than anyone, because I've had to do it myself.In this deeply personal episode, I'm opening up about the three relationships t...

5 Huhti 42min

What a Secure Relationship Actually Looks Like

If you've ever struggled to picture what a healthy relationship actually looks like, you're not alone—and it's not a coincidence. Many of us with anxious attachment simply haven't had secure relations...

22 Maalis 30min