85 - She Grew Up Surrounded by Violence. Here's How She Finally Broke the Cycle.

85 - She Grew Up Surrounded by Violence. Here's How She Finally Broke the Cycle.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Fiona, a small business owner and mother who came to him carrying anger rooted in childhood.

Whether it is anger with a partner who walks away mid-conversation, frustration at feeling unheard, or patterns that stretch back decades, Fiona's story will feel familiar to many listeners. In just seven weeks, she made changes significant enough that her husband noticed without being asked.

Rather than accepting that her past defined her future, Fiona focused on one question: what can she actually control?

Alastair walks through her journey, the tools that helped most and what her story means for anyone who feels stuck in the same cycles.

Key Takeaways:

  • You cannot control how other people communicate, but you can control how you respond. That shift in focus is often where real change begins.
  • Your tension scale is one of the most practical tools you have. Learning to notice where you are on it early gives you a window to make a different choice before things escalate.
  • The thoughts and feelings model is not just theory. Once you understand that your thoughts shape your feelings, you can start to interrupt the pattern rather than being swept along by it.
  • Change is possible even when the starting point is difficult. Fiona came from a background of violence and still made meaningful progress in seven weeks. Your history does not have to determine your future.
  • And the good news is that the skills you build to manage anger with one person carry across into every area of your life. Fiona found the same tools helped her handle old family wounds surfacing in new situations.

Resources & Next Steps:

If Fiona's story sounds familiar and you are ready to start making changes of your own, here is where to begin:


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Jaksot(84)

84 - When Someone Explodes at You - Here's How to Stay in Control

84 - When Someone Explodes at You - Here's How to Stay in Control

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores one of the most common and difficult situations people face: what to do w...

7 Kesä 11min

83 - The Real Reason You Can't Control Your Anger (It's Not What You Think)

83 - The Real Reason You Can't Control Your Anger (It's Not What You Think)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores the real reason your anger feels uncontrollable, and why the answer is ra...

31 Touko 10min

82 - Why You Keep Yelling at Your Kids (Even When You're Trying Not To)

82 - Why You Keep Yelling at Your Kids (Even When You're Trying Not To)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs tackles one of the most common and most painful patterns parents face: knowing you...

24 Touko 12min

81 - He Thought He Didn't Have an Anger Problem. His Marriage Told a Different Story.

81 - He Thought He Didn't Have an Anger Problem. His Marriage Told a Different Story.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs sits down with Matthew, a 32-year-old husband, stepfather and small business owner...

17 Touko 17min

80 - The STOP Method: How to Control Anger Before It Controls You

80 - The STOP Method: How to Control Anger Before It Controls You

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs introduces the STOP model: a simple, four-step too...

10 Touko 9min

79 - Why Your Partner Stops Talking to You (And How to Fix It)

79 - Why Your Partner Stops Talking to You (And How to Fix It)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs shares three concrete steps for communicating more...

3 Touko 10min

78 - Why You Keep Getting Triggered

78 - Why You Keep Getting Triggered

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode of the Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores one of the most important questions in an...

26 Huhti 10min

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