Can Men and Women Really Be “Just Friends?" - Evolutionary Psychologist Explains | #56

I’m often tempted to go lone wolf mode, but friendship expert Jaimie Krems came along to tell me why I’m dumb.

An Associate Professor of Psychology and Director of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research, Jaimie is one of the world authorities on friendship; what it is and why we desperately need it. She brought the stats about the material benefits of friendship, as well as the differing ways friendship functions among men, women, and between the sexes. I learnt so much!

This production was made possible by DFI Rentals - book gear for your next shoot here: https://www.dfirentals.com/

Subscribe to my Substack to see the bonus questions and send in your own for upcoming guests! https://elliotbewick.substack.com/

Check out more of Jaimie's research at: https://www.kremslab.com/ or https://www.center-for-friendship.com/

Follow Jaimie on X: https://x.com/JaimieKrems

CHAPTERS

00:00 Can men and women just be friends?

04:22 What is friendship for?

08:32 What does Gen Z get wrong about friendship?

13:14 What are the best signifiers that someone wants to be friends?

16:50 The material benefits of friendship

21:26 The problem with ‘lone wolf’ mode

23:24 How do you seek out new friends without seeming needy?

26:15 What’s your advice for those struggling to make friends?

28:10 How do male and female friendships differ?

33:24 The function of venting

36:53 How we compete for friends

42:50 How social media impacts our relationships

48:04 What are our preferences for age-gaps in friendships?

50:38 How do you manage the power balance of a friendship?

55:55 What Game Theory teaches us about friendship

1:01:02 Tips for the viewer

1:03:10 The benefits of older mentors

1:05:47 Elliot: “Why am I so attracted to older women?”

1:07:21 What sex dolls tell us about preferences

1:09:52 How do sexual and platonic relationships interlink?

1:13:15 Do we optimise for kind friends?

1:15:38 How can Gen Z stop being so isolated?

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ABOUT THE NEXT GENERATION:

In a world saturated by social media and marked by skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and ADHD among Gen Z, young people are growing up in a landscape of chaos and contradiction. While protests swell in city streets and activists hurl soup at famous artworks to demand climate action, a quieter crisis unfolds within - the mental and emotional battles faced by a generation trying to make sense of it all.

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