How Do I Become Okay? Ep. 186

This episode started with a question I found on an online support page: "How do I become ok?" I sat with that question for a long time, because I don't think it's really about coping strategies. I think it's about permission.

So if you've ever asked some version of that — how do I stop feeling this, how do I move on, what am I even supposed to be feeling right now — this one's for you.

In this episode, I unpack:

• What's actually happening in your body and brain when you're in the deep end of heartbreak
• Why the question "how do I become ok?" is really a cry for permission, not information
• Where we learned that hard feelings are something to manage quickly and quietly — and what that taught us about ourselves
• The cost of bypassing grief instead of honouring it, and how avoidance becomes the compass that keeps leading you back to what hurt you
• What honouring your grief actually looks like (hint: it's not wallowing, and it's not staying stuck)
• Why letting yourself not be ok right now is the foundation for being properly, sustainably ok later

If you take one thing from this episode, let it be this: you're allowed to not be ok right now. That doesn't mean you'll stay here forever. It means you're finally giving yourself room to move through this properly, instead of around it.

Mentioned in this episode:
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