Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon

🎧 Listen to this episode if…

• Your ex is using money to punish or control you in divorce proceedings
• Your ex is stalling the settlement, ignoring emails, or pressuring you to sign before you're ready
• You've been told it "couldn't really be financial abuse" because you earned your own money or had access to the accounts
• Your partner refused to work or quietly drained joint funds
• Your lawyer suggested leaving coercive control out of your settlement
• You need the courage to name what happened

⚠️ Legal Disclaimer
This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. Laws may have changed since recording.

🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning
This episode discusses coercive control and financial abuse. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).

Lyn a Family Lawyer and I are joined again by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about financial abuse the part of coercive control that hides inside bank accounts, businesses, superannuation and settlement negotiations.

Krasi breaks down the three faces of economic abuse – control, employment sabotage and economic exploitation – and Mum covers what Section 4AB of the Family Law Act actually says, what evidence courts look for when the abuse happened behind closed doors, and how to find the courage to name it.

00:00 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: Was It Really Abuse?
03:00 – Financial Abuse When You're the Breadwinner
04:00 – The 3 Types of Economic Abuse: Control, Sabotage, Exploitation
08:00 – My Husband Won't Work – Is This Coercive Control?
12:00 – Secret Accounts and Hidden Spending
15:00 – "I Learned to Stop Asking Questions" – Control Through Consequences
16:00 – Section 4AB Family Law Act: Financial Abuse Is Coercive Control
17:00 – The Avoidant Ex and Post-Separation Abuse
19:00 – When Courts Award More: The 14% Adjustment for Coercive Conduct
21:00 He Won't Accept the Separation
23:00 – Proving Subtle Coercive Control in Court
24:00 – What Evidence Family Courts Actually Need (It's Not Criminal Proof)
27:00 – Making Your Story Live for the Judge: Notes, Dates, Chronology
29:00 – The Three Ds Framework: Demeaning, Disempowerment, Distortion
31:00 –Proving Covert Control and Narrative Isolation
39:00 – Trying Hard's Question: Pressured to Sign the Settlement Too Soon
43:00 – Alex's Question: When Your Ex Uses Adult Kids to Pressure You
46:00 – Krasi's Call-Out: Share Your Experience for the Psychology Conference
48:00 – Samantha's Question: My Lawyer Said to Leave Coercive Control Out
52:00 – Spousal Maintenance Years After Separation: What Courts Consider
54:00 – Gretchen's Question: When the Ex's Lawyers Play Coercive Games
55:00 – Miss Resilient: Private School Fees, Child Support and Spiteful Neglect
59:00 – Next Week: Coercive Control, the Children and Co-Parenting
60:00 – Jesse and Sandy: Finding the Courage to Name the Abuse
61:00 – The Lighthouse Program and Evatt List: Extra Safeguards in Court
65:00 – The Domestic Violence Pendulum: You Will Find Your Voice

📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support)
📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14

🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Krasi's free Three Ds handout - https://kirovapsychology.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/3Ds-Handout-1.pdf
Krasi's Psychology Conference questionnaire https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2