049 ADHD, Alcohol & Me: The Missing Piece

ADHD, Alcohol & Me: The Missing Piece

For a decade and a half, I was possibly solving the wrong problem.

It was around 40 when I first started questioning my relationship with alcohol. I knew something had shifted. So I spent the best part of a decade playing with the rules — alcohol-free days, months off, even a year off at one point, then two. Stop-start, stop-start.

Then at 56, I got diagnosed with ADHD. And that changed everything.

In this episode, I'm talking about the thing nobody told me at the time: why the ADHD brain and alcohol are such a difficult match — and why this is true for so many of the women I speak to who are neurodivergent and struggling with drink.

In this episode, I cover:

• The gap between questioning my drinking at 40 and understanding why at 56 — and the year and a half it took me to really land in that diagnosis
• Why alcohol works so fast on an ADHD brain (and why that's exactly the problem) — the dopamine piece, in plain English
• Masking: the decades of compensating, overworking and performing "fine" that so many late-diagnosed women will recognise
• Why "one glass" was never realistically going to be one glass, and why that was never about a lack of discipline
• How alcohol doesn't just numb an ADHD brain — it quietens it. And why that makes it feel like a solution long before it becomes a problem
• My own teenage introduction to drinking, and the anxiety I didn't even know I was carrying
• The vicious cycle of hangxiety, shame, obsessive replaying of the night before, and how alcohol makes every one of those symptoms worse, not better
• Why gray-area drinking with an undiagnosed or diagnosed ADHD brain is such a perfect storm
• The running-on-a-stony-path metaphor — and why the right support is like finally putting your shoes on
• A few gentle questions to sit with if you suspect this might be part of your story too

A few lines I want you to sit with:

"Alcohol doesn't just numb the ADHD brain — it quietens it. And that's exactly what makes it feel so helpful, long before it becomes harmful."

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Do I reach for a drink to switch off a busy mind, more than to actually enjoy the drink itself?
• Have I spent my life feeling like I was too much and not enough at the same time — too much energy, not enough follow-through?
• Do I crash in the evenings after holding it all together, all day?

None of these are a diagnosis. They might just be a doorway.

I'm not here to diagnose anyone through a podcast. But if any of this lands, please don't let it get brushed off — by yourself, or by anyone else. Find someone who actually understands neurodivergence and the nervous system. You deserve better than being told you'll simply "grow out of it."

Mentioned in this episode:

The I Quit Wine Collective — a safe space for like-minded women on this journey. Come in, have a look around, say hello. There's an entry level with access to my 30-day break from alcohol, and the option to join the full Collective when you're ready.

Take a look here:

https://www.skool.com/i-quit-wine-iqw-collective-3336

Email me here to share your story in confidence or enquire about 1:1 coaching:

iqwwithsarah@gmail.com

I'm rebuilding on Instagram after a break, please follow me & DM me to say hi. I'd love to hear what landed for you from this episode:

https://www.instagram.com/iquitwine.withsarah/