215: They're Not Busy, They're Avoiding You

The disappearing. The suddenly busy. The phone that comes out the second eye contact gets real. In this episode of the nervous system series, Sabrina breaks down the flight response in dating and relationships: what's actually happening in the body when someone pulls back, why intimacy reads as danger, and why "I just need space" almost never has anything to do with space. Anxious and avoidant attachment both run this alarm, and we've spent years villainizing one and excusing the other instead of understanding either. Inside: why going cold after a great date isn't self-sabotage, how hyper independence and fear of vulnerability get wired in childhood, why situationships are often two flight responses agreeing not to scare each other, and the difference between an explanation and an excuse. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠ Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠ Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠ Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Chapters: 0:00 Why People Pull Away When It Gets Real 2:59 What The Flight Response Actually Is 6:06 Why We Villainize Avoidant Partners 9:38 The Anxious Avoidant Dance Explained 12:35 When Someone Says I Need Space 15:30 Why They Won't Let You In 18:17 Going Cold After A Good Date 21:10 How Flight Shows Up In Dating 24:50 What You Can't Control In Love 27:51 Tool Of The Week: Stay 10 Minutes Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Jaksot(229)

228: You're Not Healing. You're Just Consuming Content…

Why does healing feel so hard, and why doesn't "regulating your nervous system" fix it? Nervous system expert Masha Kay returns to break down what the internet gets wrong about nervous system regulati...

2 Loka 59min

227: How To Actually Handle A Breakup…

How do you get over a breakup without making it mean something is wrong with you? In the final episode of the Things To Do and Not To Do series, Sabrina breaks down what to do and what not to do durin...

25 Syys 30min

226: Do's And Don'ts For Dating And Relationships

The dos and don'ts of dating and relationships, from the first date to years in. Sabrina covers what to do and not do before, during, and after a first date: stop the endless texting, set boundaries a...

18 Syys 41min

225: Am I Too Late To Find Love? With Tamsen Fadal

This one is about feeling behind. The belief that you missed your window, that everyone else got the memo, that whatever you want is off the table now because of your age. We are answering the questio...

11 Syys 52min

224: Stop Asking Everyone But Yourself

You already know the answer. You just keep asking everyone but yourself: him, your friends, your therapist, a stranger with a podcast, anyone who will confirm what you already feel. Sabrina gets into ...

8 Syys 39min

223: Things To Do And Not Do When Single

How do you actually get okay being alone? In part one of a three part series, Sabrina answers your questions about being single: how to stop wanting a relationship so badly, how to grieve a breakup or...

4 Syys 37min

222: How Do You Actually Choose Yourself?

What does loving yourself actually look like when it isn't bubble baths, face masks, or affirmations you don't believe? Sabrina breaks down the real difference between self-love and self-esteem, what ...

28 Elo 38min

221: Can You Get Them To Change?

Discernment in dating is not about spotting every red flag, it's about not creating green ones that were never there. Sabrina opens with the story of the emotionally unavailable man she spent years ma...

21 Elo 32min