How to Feel Secure Within Yourself After a Breakup Ep. 189

We talk a lot about the emotional stages of a breakup — acceptance, anger, denial. But what about the small, everyday things we actually do in response to those emotions? The behaviours that make you wonder, "is this normal?"

In this episode, I walk through the phases of healing that don't usually make it into the conversation — from the early daze and the urge to check up on your ex, to the grief that hits after you've stopped checking, to what happens when you start dating again (and why that can go really well, or really badly, depending on the work you've done first).

I also share a bit of my own story — what dating looked like for me right after my divorce versus 18 months later, once I'd actually done the inner work.

None of these stages happen in order, and you won't necessarily go through all of them. But if you recognise yourself in any of this, it means you're on the right track.

In this episode:

Why the early "daze" phase isn't a sign something's wrong with you
The link between checking your ex's activity and avoiding your grief
Why acceptance often brings a deeper wave of grief, not relief
What determines whether dating again feels good or triggers you
The difference between real safety within yourself and just saying the right things

Want to know where you're at in your healing?
Take my free Breakup Recovery Health Check — it measures your emotional coping, clarity, grief processing, and self-connection, and gives you a personalised report. Take the Health Check

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(193)

You Thought They Were Different. So Why Does This Feel So Familiar? Choosing Emotionally Unavailable Partners Ep. 192

Why Do I Keep Feeling the Same Way With Different People? Have you ever dated someone who seemed completely different from the people you'd chosen before, only to find yourself feeling exactly the sam...

10 Elo 17min

How to Find Love Again After Heartbreak Ep. 191

Most of us heal backwards. We get really, really clear on what we don't want. No liars. No cheaters. No emotionally unavailable people. We build our whole recovery around avoiding the pain again — avo...

2 Elo 16min

How Self-Development Helps You Get Over Your Ex Ep. 190

Most breakup advice tells you what to do—go to the gym, journal, stay busy, practise self-care—but it rarely explains why those things help or how to know whether they're actually working. When you're...

26 Heinä 13min

Insight vs Action — Why Understanding Your Breakup Isn't Enough Ep. 188

You've done the reading. The therapy. The Googling. You understand your patterns, your attachment style, exactly why you do what you do — and yet, nothing's changed. In this episode, I'm breaking down...

12 Heinä 14min

Healing Expectations vs Reality Ep. 187

One of the biggest reasons people think they're not healing properly? They've only ever been shown half the picture. This episode is about the gap between what healing looks like on the outside — the ...

5 Heinä 14min

How Do I Become Okay? Ep. 186

This episode started with a question I found on an online support page: "How do I become ok?" I sat with that question for a long time, because I don't think it's really about coping strategies. I thi...

28 Kesä 12min

Breakup to Blessing Series, Part Three: Creating a Future You Truly Love and Desire Ep. 185

This is the final episode in the three-part Breakup to Blessing series — and it might be the most exciting one yet. After laying the foundation in Phase One and rebuilding identity in Phase Two, Part ...

21 Kesä 16min