Why Blame Used to Make Me Feel Like I Didn't Belong | Blame Series – Part 3 

Ep 142: Have you ever found yourself apologising before you've even decided whether you've done anything wrong? Do you feel responsible for other people's emotions, explain yourself to avoid conflict, or worry that making a mistake means you'll be rejected?

In this episode of The Self-Belief Podcast, Jenny explores the connection between blame, belonging, self-blame, people pleasing and fear of rejection, and how early experiences can teach us that being accepted depends on keeping other people happy. Through her own story, Jenny shares how awareness helped her move from reacting automatically to responding with choice, and why belonging should never cost you the right to be yourself.

• Why do I always blame myself when someone is upset with me?

• Why do I apologise even when I haven't done anything wrong?

• Why do I always feel responsible for other people's feelings?

• Why am I so afraid of disappointing people?

• Why do I explain myself all the time?

• Why does criticism affect me so much?

• Why does blame feel like rejection?

• How do I stop people pleasing?

• Why do I feel like I don't belong?

• What is the connection between blame and belonging?

• How does trauma affect the way we respond to blame?

• What is masking and why do people do it?

• How can I stop assuming everything is my fault?

• How do I know what I'm really responsible for?

• How can I build self-belief without changing who I am?

• Blame & belonging

• Fear of rejection

• Automatic patterns

• Awareness before change

• Choose yourself

Remember: You can take responsibility for your actions without taking responsibility for everything. Belonging should never cost you the right to be yourself.

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This episode continues a series exploring blame and how it affects self-belief.

If you enjoyed this episode, you may also like Jenny's previous four-part series on judgement, where she explored why we fear being judged, how self-judgement develops, and how those patterns shape our confidence.

Listen to the Judgement Series here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/64rs54mfdFqX0oWF62d44J?si=mnFwfCW8SvC8Q_9oCTI9kA

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If you’ve been noticing the same thoughts, reactions, or emotional patterns repeating in your life, Jenny’s free Continued Writing session may help you understand what’s happening underneath them.

During this live session, Jenny will guide you through a gentle continued writing exercise designed to help you uncover subconscious patterns, emotional responses, and automatic behaviours that are often difficult to see on your own. You don’t need any experience with continued writing, just a pen, paper, and some space to be honest with yourself.

Register for the next webinar here!

If you can’t attend live, Jenny also shares continued writing prompts on her website to use in your own time: www.jennyfield.co.uk/product/continued-writing-freebie/

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