Dr Emily - Tough Love vs Shame

Is tough love to blame for our shame?

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We all know that parent or coach on the sideline who takes under 10’s basketball a liiitttllleee too seriously. And occasionally, tough love might seem to work in the moment, long term, the shame train isn’t going anywhere good.

Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is here to name the shame to tame it, and teach us how we can be shame strippers too (get your head out of the gutter. Shame on you).

We go into the difference between shame, humiliation, guilt and embarrassment, bow down to the queen Brene Brown, and introduce ourselves to our own Healthy Adult.

Shamelessly, this is one of our best episodes to date.

0:00 – Ever heard of a shame stripper?
6:27 – Bow down to Brene Brown
12:25 – The other self-conscious emotions (they’re shy)
20:51 – Humour and humiliation
29:21 – Shame is a full body experience
36:16 – Beware of who you share (with)
40:43 – Manosphere + behaviour change
46:59 – Tough love + kids sport
57:07 – Working with shame
1:06:10 – Bring on the compassion!
1:10:07 – Introducing the Healthy Adult

If you’d like to watch the full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode

• Ryan Shelton - Shame, Jealousy & Purpose - https://bit.ly/4qgEqrO
• Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - https://bit.ly/4hqWa1k
• How do you know you’re in a thinking trap? - Maria Ruberto - https://bit.ly/4ze4eJh

🎧 Things to listen to

• Between Two Beers with Steven Adams - https://bit.ly/4g3wipS

📚Things to read

• Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown - https://bit.ly/45VT2Dx
• The Compassionate Mind, by Paul Gilbert - https://bit.ly/3UewPOq
• Movember study of the Manosphere - https://bit.ly/4wZxtOs
• Proneness to shame vs proneness to guilt research by Tangney et al. - https://bit.ly/4g4lQyl

📖Things to do

• The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer - https://bit.ly/4zg353K
• Othership (breath work app) - https://bit.ly/4g7Q03E

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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

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