How to Overcome Insecurity When “Loving Yourself” Isn’t Working | Happiness | E556

If love makes you suspicious, compliments make you uncomfortable, and happiness makes you wait for something bad to happen…this episode might explain your entire life. Because what if your insecurity isn’t a personality flaw? What if your brain learned, somewhere along the way, that feeling good about yourself is dangerous? Psychologist and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Marisa Franco is back with fascinating new science about why insecurity can survive years of therapy, affirmations, self-help, and “working on yourself” (and what can finally begin to change it). Here’s the mind-bending part: Your memories don’t just record your past. They predict your future. And when your brain expects rejection, humiliation, or abandonment, even love and success can feel threatening. But those old memories aren’t necessarily fixed. Dr. Franco explains how the science of memory reconsolidation may help change the way the past continues to live inside you. You'll learn: Why compliments, love, and success can actually make you feel worse Why you can feel deeply insecure even when you can’t explain why How old memories can quietly shape what you expect from yourself and others How memory reconsolidation can begin changing the emotional impact of the past Why affirmations sometimes backfire when you have low self-worth How to recognize when deeper support may be the right next step If you’ve spent years trying to “love yourself” and wondering why nothing seems to stick, you need to hear this. You may not need another pep talk. You may finally need to understand what your brain has been trying to protect you from. Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self P.S. Ready to stop letting old insecurities run the show? Book a free consultation with a Growing Self clinician and get matched with the right person to help you do this deeper work. Special thanks to this month’s sponsors of the podcast: Shopify — Every self-made person started somewhere. Yours starts free at shopify.com/lhs Quince — Quality products you’ll actually use that feel like luxury without the price tag. Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/lhs⁠ Skylight — Stay connected with the people you love through beautiful digital calendars and photo frames designed for real family life. Learn more at skylightcal.com/lhs