Louise O’Neill - ‘Full Recovery Is Possible’

This episode contains references to and descriptions of eating disorders. Louise O’Neill is a bestselling, award-winning Irish author whose fearless writing has helped shape modern feminism. Her fiction is taught on the Irish curriculum and Paul Mescal starred in a critically acclaimed stage adaptation of her work. Her second novel, Asking For It, catapulted her into the public eye in 2015. Now, with her eighth book, A Bigger Life, O’Neill turns that same unflinching gaze on herself. Her memoir follows the extraordinary dating experiment she embarked on in her late 30s after the end of a long-term relationship: dating a different man every night, across three cities - Paris, London and New York. What began as a challenge, inspired by something her father said, became an unexpected journey of self-discovery. In this episode we discuss topics covered in her memoir, A Bigger Life, including: finding hope after heartbreak, pressure on women, extraordinary dating experiences and recovering from a debilitating two-decade-long eating disorder. A Bigger Life is out this month. IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Introduction 03:24 Writing Her First Memoir 04:58 Roots in West Cork 08:21 Dating for a Bigger Life 09:26 Choosing Hope After Heartbreak 13:22 Marriage Expectations and Milestones 16:57 Beauty Pressure and Aging Fears 27:12 Fear of Vulnerability 28:48 Aging and Shame 30:34 Trusting Your Instincts 33:35 The Millionaire Date 36:40 Recovery After 17 Years 42:57 Rewiring the Mind 48:35 Good Girl Burnout 52:07 Redefining Success 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: I didn’t want the break-up to define me. Life falls apart around us, and then we have to rebuild. The trick is to keep your heart soft. If I’m setting the narrative, I want it to be hopeful . I had to rewire my brain - I had to become an entirely new person. Then it became second nature. 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: Louise O’Neill’s memoir A Bigger Life is out now: https://harpercollins.co.uk/products/a-bigger-life-louise-oneill?variant=55970156118395 Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Dolly Alderton - swap.fm/l/XM98joc3GFEMTsLfkEfR Caitlin Moran - swap.fm/l/CaitlinMoran 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Elizabeth and Louise answer listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: https://lnk.to/7i0moR Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: askhowtofail.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices