Richard Buckworth (Audio); Why Feeling “Normal” Can Be the Biggest Lie After Adoption

In this interview, Dr Naomi Murphy and David Jones speak with Richard Buckworth about adoption, identity, and the long shadow of unprocessed trauma. Richard shares how his experience as an adoptee shaped his upcoming book, One Voice, and the therapeutic work he now does with family constellations, journey therapy, shamanic healing, and the Enneagram. The conversation explores belonging, self-worth, secrecy, people-pleasing, inherited trauma, and the importance of facing difficult truths with patience and self-awareness.

https://familyconstellationstherapy.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/richard-buckworth-11503966/

Key topics

• Why Richard wrote One Voice and challenged the belief that adoption had not affected him.
• The childhood feeling that something was “off,” including depression, disconnection, and not belonging.
• Emotional shutdown, dissociation, and survival strategies.
• Adoption-related vulnerabilities, including not looking like anyone in the family and feeling disconnected from one’s lineage.
• The complexity of the adoption triad: adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive parents.
• Discovering what “adopted” really meant at around age seven.
• Secrecy, identity confusion, and the experience of having two mothers and two fathers in different senses.
• Family constellation therapy and its focus on generational patterns and blocked family connections.
• How Richard combines constellation work with journey therapy, shamanic healing, and the Enneagram.
• Why truth, patience, and emotional honesty are central to healing.

Timestamps

• 00:00

Introducing Richard Buckworth

• 02:33

Why Richard wrote One Voice

• 05:05

Childhood feelings of not belonging

• 07:28

Emotional shutdown and dissociation

• 08:41

Coping with bullying and avoidance

• 10:24

Adoption, identity, and belonging

• 14:35

Separation at birth and adult mental health

• 17:13

The adoption triad

• 18:35

Understanding adoption at age seven

• 20:46

The confusing story of being “chosen”

• 23:34

Secrecy and having two mothers

• 25:24

What might have changed with earlier awareness

• 29:10

Epigenetics and intergenerational trauma

• 37:39

What family constellation therapy is

• 43:51

Somatic healing and listening to the body

• 47:50

Combining multiple therapeutic modalities

• 53:57

Advice for people disconnected from their roots

• 54:18

“The truth will set you free”

• 57:02

Honesty, family, and the next generation

Notable quotes

“It takes more effort to not feel than to actually feel.”

“The truth will set you free.”

“I was so good at lying to myself.”

Key frameworks

• Family constellation therapy:

Exploring present issues through family systems and generational patterns.

• Journey therapy:

Releasing emotional blocks and accessing feelings that were shut down.

• Shamanic healing:

Exploring ancestral patterns beyond a traditional seven-generation framework.

• The Enneagram:

Understanding motivation, avoidance, and behavioral patterns