The Communication Mistake That Leaves Autistic Children and Adults Feeling Misread and Unseen with Sam Loprete

In this episode I sit down with autism coach Sam Loprete to talk about growing up undiagnosed, feeling “odd but not sure why,” and only later discovering you have ADHD. We swap stories about childhood moments that were seen as shyness or bad behaviour, but were really signs of overwhelm, unclear rules, and needs no one thought of. Sam explains how simple curiosity from others in your life at the right time can change everything, and why being truly listened to is so powerful for autistic adults. We also look at masking as a choice rather than a rule and share practical ways to catch harsh self-talk and replace it with kinder, more accurate thoughts, for yourself or for your child. EPISODE REVEALS You’re not broken; there are reasons for your behaviour. Overwhelm, unclear rules, or your social battery running low often explains shutdown or odd behaviour. Having someone who is calm, curious, and non-judgmental to listen to you help you untangle your thoughts and identify what really matters for you makes a huge difference. When your brain is being mean and attacking you, gently challenge it instead of letting it run the show. Think about when masking genuinely helps you and when it costs too much energy. Masking is exhausting so deciding whether to continue to use it and in what circumstances helps. Do your best to meet others halfway to help close the communication gap. But be honest about how much bandwidth you have and remember that it won’t always work perfectly (and that’s okay). BEST MOMENTS “I spent a lot of time needlessly hating myself or not understanding what was happening.” “Thank your brain - it may not feel like it, but your brain is trying to keep you safe.” “You can't do it when the meltdown or the shutdown is in place. You've got to strike while the iron's cold." ABOUT THE GUEST Sam Loprete helps autistic adults and chronic overthinkers sort through too many thoughts, find the issue that actually matters, and choose a next move that makes sense to them. You can bring him any decision, conflict, problem, or mental pile without organizing it first; Sam listens closely, asks direct questions, reflects patterns, and helps you separate facts from fears, assumptions, values, and expectations. He doesn’t diagnose or tell you how to live. Sam works with autistic you in a flexible, collaborative way, adjusting to fit how your mind works. samloprete10792@gmail.com https://calendly.com/samloprete10792/free-1-hour-discovery-call RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/