Episode 171: The Narrative Method & Change with Shari Foos

Shari Foos is the founder of The Narrative Method, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that connects people to themselves and each other through creative writing. She is a marriage and family therapist and spent many years as a writer and performer before that. The program began in 2012 as an in-person practice. It now runs mostly as free online writing salons where people write to prompts, read aloud in small groups, and receive no feedback or criticism. Her book, The Narrative Method: A Writing Practice for Not Hating Yourself and Discovering Who You Really Are, comes out from HarperCollins on April 6 and is available for pre-order. Episode Summary Bill and Shari begin with a shared question: who gets to call themselves creative? Bill describes the days in 2020 when he couldn't accept the word. Shari describes creative expression as a right, and the doubt most of us carry about it as something learned. She calls the source "the cult of culture," her term for the steady message from media, advertising, and politics that we aren't enough. From there the conversation moves through the ideas in her book. Shari walks through "Lantern in the Cave," which draws on Plato's allegory, and explains how writing to a prompt can produce small moments of recognition. Bill brings in the Odyssey and a recent interview he heard with Miley Cyrus, which leads to a discussion of why vulnerability draws people in more than success does. They talk about the difference between being known and being famous, and about community as a practical response to isolation. Shari talks about what parents can pass on when they weren't given permission to dream themselves. Topics Discussed - Why creative expression can be treated as a right, and how self-doubt gets learned - The "cult of culture" and the habit of comparing and judging ourselves - Being known versus being famous, and what intimacy and legacy have to do with it - Vulnerability in public life, illustrated by Bill's account of the Miley Cyrus interview with Zane Lowe - Community and human contact in everyday transactions - "Lantern in the Cave": Plato's allegory, the shadow we see when we turn around, and aha moments - Letting yourself imagine the ideal, and tolerating disappointment when reality falls short - Awe, and the way facing painful feelings can open into connection - Parents, protection, and dreams handed down across generations - How a salon works: prompts, breakout rooms, witnessing, and no feedback - Working with veterans, and the difference between being thanked and being listened to - Ideas Worth Sitting With - Shari's view is that feedback of any kind, including praise, interrupts a person's first experience of their own voice. - She argues that people can tolerate disappointment better than they can tolerate a world with no possibilities. - She says that listening to someone read is a way of making them feel more whole, and that the listener benefits too. - Her position on imperfect writing is that misspellings and rough language are part of what makes a piece relatable. Salons are free. Sign up at thenarrativemethod.org under Events, then Salons. Each salon has its own link. There is no commitment to attend again. Connect Website: thenarrativemethod.org Salons: thenarrativemethod.org/salons Book: The Narrative Method, HarperCollins, April 6 (pre-order link: [add]) Email: info@thenarrativemethod.org Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube: @thenarrativemethod