Fast Food and Faster Bowels | 529

Brent is out this week, which means Kevin Crispin of Behind Beautiful Things has been handed the keys to Hysteria 51. This was a terrible administrative decision.

First up: a Virginia driver gets caught allegedly doing nearly 50 mph over the speed limit and reaches deep into the Big Book of Excuses to blame the one force powerful enough to override traffic laws: McDonald’s breakfast. Was the Egg McMuffin getting cold? Were the hash browns entering their dangerously soggy phase? Somewhere, Ronald McDonald is being advised not to comment.

Then we head to Beijing, where HYROX learned that sometimes “leaving it all on the course” is not supposed to be taken literally. Australian competitor Joanna Wietrzyk suffered an extremely unfortunate mid-race bathroom incident, kept competing, used shared equipment, and crossed the finish line first. The fallout went viral, HYROX apologized and changed its rules, and humanity received another regulation nobody realized needed to be written down.

So buckle up, clench accordingly, and join David Flora and guest host Kevin Crispin for an episode featuring reckless driving, fast food, extreme fitness, questionable decision-making, and two very different stories about people who desperately needed to slow down.

Because this week on Hysteria 51, whether you’re racing toward a McDonald’s breakfast or racing while becoming a public-health incident, the important thing is apparently to never, ever stop.

Links & Resources

📌McBlunder

📌Racing Stinks

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