What is My Part?

Show Notes

When our kids are little, we carry everything. Their jackets, their snacks, their backpacks. We even let them wipe wet hands on our pants. But as they grow, our part gets smaller, and that's exactly how it should be.

In this episode, Brooke explores one simple question that can take the drama out of so many relationships: "What is my part?" Often we fall into one of two camps. We blame the other person for everything, or we take it all on ourselves. Neither is true. We always have some part, and so do they.

Brooke shares a framed photograph she bought for her daughter-in-law's birthday and what happened when she invited her to be honest. She also shares a client's story about baby quilts, a spouse who goes quiet during hard times, and a grown child who asked Mom to stay in an Airbnb.

In this episode:

• What is your part: your thoughts and the story you tell, your feelings and whether you're regulated, your tone and timing, unspoken expectations, and what you allow
• What is not your part: their feelings, choices, tastes, healing, timeline, and how they receive you
• Why staying regulated matters when someone you love shuts down
• How to walk the road with a child going through something hard without taking it over
• Why the answer may look different each time, and the value of seeking revelation

Questions to ask yourself:

• What story am I telling myself about this person?
• What do I expect that I've never said out loud?
• What could I simply ask instead of assume?
• What is mine to carry here?
• Who do I want to be in this relationship?

Ready to go deeper? Brooke is starting a new Bridges small group coaching program. Email her at brooke@brookeoniki.com.

Share this episode with someone who'd love it, and sign up for my newsletter at brookeoniki.com for more coaching on your relationships with your adult kids, your husband, and yourself.