Who Pursues Whom in BDSM-S01E50

Recorded: August 5, 2018 / Published: August 26, 2018
Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show we use our combined 30 years of experience to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com
On this episode of the Krypt we are going to talk about who pursues whom, but before that happens, we need talk about a few new interesting places find our show, hit those three rules to love by and most importantly, I have to welcome the co-hostest with the mostest, Funsize.
Interesting places to find us: iHeart Radio, Spotify, Blubry on Roku, and smart speakers.
Rules to Love by:
Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
Definition
Pursuit- To follow, chase, hunt, run after, seek to form a relationship within a persistent way, or a specific type of activity.
If the Dom is to pursue the submissive?
What we're really looking at here is a personal preference because there is no right or wrong. Some tops prefer to take on the hunter’s role of pursuing the bottom.
For those that do I do wonder if it does have something to do with a primal need, I'm not suggesting that these are all primals, I just wonder if that may be a part of it in that moment.
I think the next to consider is power. Everything we do in BDSM has to do with power. Pursuing someone is a way of displaying power, and tops could certainly view this a couple different ways.
You display the power you want to hold over the bottom by pursuing them, thereby making yourself a more attractive partner.
It could be that you view this as your right or even your duty as the dominant partner.
Sometimes this could be a dominant playing into the role, even so far as kind of falling into the trope of a big bad Dom who knows exactly what they want and how to get it.
However, that does swing us around to something very real. We're all people who for the most part, do our best every day. And for a lot of us, that means that we have a relationship FOMO that pops up when we've made a connection with someone. So what do we do? We go to that person and we pursue them, we make our want of a relationship known. Because we don't want to miss out on something amazing simply because we did not try.
If the submissive pursues the Dominant?
Most of what we just talked about still applies to the submissive so far as not wanting to miss an opportunity.
If a submissive is stepping up to tell a dominant that they want to pursue a relationship it could also be because they feel it is their duty and right.
Bottoms offer up their power for the top to wield, and it really is a case of pursuit. If you imagine a submissive on their knees holding up a collar in supplication that's what I'm talking about here. The sub is saying here is this power over me, please use it.
Is it topping from the bottom?
Again I don't think we have a clear cut answer here. For some submissives, some brats included, it can be a way of getting what they want in terms of a partner, and there in a case of topping from the bottom. But again that's certain ones and if you think that's what is going on then as the top you can still consent or not to them.
How to really get the ball rolling?
Pretty simple, communicate. Regardless of your preference on the matter, you have to communicate in order to build any relationship.
This is one of our shortest episodes in a while but don't worry because next time on the Krypt we'll have a very special interview for you all.
A final note or two.
I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeremiah, Sihlus, and Jess our Senior Producers Matt, Jeremy, and xEmeraldxwolfx our Producers Kainsin, Princ3ssPuddl3s, Heather, and ThatPlace Oklahoma City and our Jr. Producers K-2SO, Irish Mt. Dragon, BuffaloDom84, LxSoumis, painwaits, and J.K. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.
Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.
NEXT WEEK’S AGENDA
Next time on The Krypt: “Vanilla with Sprinkles” interviews with three very special guests about their entrance into kink. In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.
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Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin and Funsize for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth