Why Are People So Mean? How to Protect Your Mental Health

CW: this episode mentions the Cornell Seven and includes a discussion of sexual abuse. Please take care while listening.

“We’re going to come across mean people. It’s part of life. But you have the power to decide how that’s going to impact you, and you don’t have to carry that with you.” - Michelle

Mean people are draining your mental health, and on Life Happens with Barb and Michelle, the mother-daughter duo are revisiting this popular topic. This week, they get into why people lash out and how to stop internalizing it.

Michelle opens with the everyday stuff: a honk the second the traffic light turns green, the nasty comment from a stranger, the dig at the holiday dinner table, and why we carry it around all day like it belongs to us. Barb adds a new layer this time around: a lot of today’s meanness comes down to control and power, and she wonders what living with it is doing to our mental health.

Barb shares how she pictures a shield in front of her, blocking the nasty comments that come in, and what she saw at an airport after a three-hour delay. Michelle explains why imagining the honking driver’s whole day helps her take it less personally.

Barb and Michelle also discuss:

• Why meanness is rarely about you: control, insecurity, impatience, and people who are simply at the end of their rope
• Protecting your energy and your mental health when you can’t control what other people say or do
• How to check in with yourself in the moment, from HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, or tired) to remembering that feelings aren’t facts
• What to do when you’re the mean one

As Barb said, “we are worth having our own energy back.”

Want more help putting this into practice? The Emotional Well-Being Toolkit covers self-compassion, boundaries, and ways to stop taking things so personally. It soft launches November 10. Join the interest list at https://peacefulmindpeacefullife.org/toolkit/

Episode Breakdown ⬇️

00:00 Episode Intro: Why We Carry Other People's Meanness

02:00 Connecting Meanness to Control, Power, and Lost Energy

06:00 Stop Taking It Personally: Deciding Not to Give Away Your Power

11:30 Understanding Why People Latch Out: Insecurity, Overwhelm, and End of the Rope

18:30 When Meanness Stems from Exhaustion & Living in an Unfair World

22:30 Dealing with Public Vitriol & Social Media Backlash

26:30 Visualization & Emotional Protection: Imagining a Shield

28:30 Checking In with Yourself: HALT & Feelings Aren't Facts

29:30 What to Do When You're the Mean One: Stopping Gossip & Making Amends

🎙️Life Happens with Barb and Michelle is a weekly mental health podcast, with new episodes dropping every Tuesday.

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Hosted by:

💕Barb Schmidt https://www.instagram.com/peaceful_barb/

💕Michelle Maros https://www.instagram.com/michellemaros/

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