WEEKLY BULLETIN: Jacinta Price Figures That Optus Must Be Down After Not Receiving One Phone Call From Coalition Colleagues Since Campaign Ended, Local Man Smiles At Teenagers Drinking In Park As He Realises He Will Never Have As Much Fun As Them Again, Engineer Mate Slightly Odd & Waiter Doesn’t Know How Much Trouble He’s In After Rich Old Duck’s Skim Decaf Cap Isn’t Hotter Than The Surface Of The Sun Like She Asked For