Overcoming Comparison and Accepting Ordinary with Dr. Ron Siegel

Overcoming Comparison and Accepting Ordinary with Dr. Ron Siegel

When was the last time you went through a day without comparing yourself to anyone? For instance, by comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel on social media, or being critical of your own willpower and abilities? Avoiding these mental traps can be difficult in a culture that emphasizes the importance of being 'special.' Of course, we are all special – and all ordinary. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson are joined by psychologist and author Dr. Ronald Siegel to discuss why that might not be such a bad thing. They discuss how to drop the myth of the extraordinary, how to heal from feelings of inadequacy, and what healthy self-esteem looks like. About our Guest: Dr. Siegel is Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, international speaker on the topics of mindfulness and compassion, and author of several books including his latest, The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: What prompted Ron’s inquiry into being ordinary 7:00: Cultural and evolutionary factors 12:55: Fluctuations in self-esteem based on success and failure 16:40: Social connection as antidote 18:35: What being ordinary looks like 20:45: Three ways to drop the myth of the extraordinary 31:35: Rick’s path to healing his own feelings of inadequacy 38:55: Predispositions to having a sense of worth and value 44:40: Love vs. ‘specialness’ 48:40: Reaping the benefits of self-esteem without getting caught in its traps 56:10: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Try Splendid Spoon today and take meal-planning off your plate. Just go to SplendidSpoon.com/BEINGWELL for $50 off your first box. Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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AI Therapy Deep Dive: Can a Chatbot Be Your Therapist? w/ Dr. Nick Jacobson

AI Therapy Deep Dive: Can a Chatbot Be Your Therapist? w/ Dr. Nick Jacobson

AI chatbots may already be the largest providers of mental health services in the United States, raising big questions about safety, effectiveness, and oversight. Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr...

22 Syys 20251h 25min

How to Have a (Good) Life Crisis: Authenticity, Healthy Discontent, and the Anxiety of Choice

How to Have a (Good) Life Crisis: Authenticity, Healthy Discontent, and the Anxiety of Choice

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to use a life crisis productively, drawing on developmental stage theories, existential philosophy, literature, personal experience, and Rick’s clinical work. They exa...

18 Syys 20251h 12min

People Pleasing and the Fawn Response with Meg Josephson

People Pleasing and the Fawn Response with Meg Josephson

Forrest and therapist Meg Josephson explore the fawn response, a survival strategy where safety is sought by pleasing other people. They discuss how fawning can start as self-protection in childhood, ...

8 Syys 20251h 14min

Anxious-Avoidant Relationships, Narcissism, and Insight to Action: Mailbag

Anxious-Avoidant Relationships, Narcissism, and Insight to Action: Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer questions about complex situations where good process really matters. They discuss whether to get back with an ex who has seemingly changed, relation...

1 Syys 20251h 11min

Limerence: The Psychology of Romantic Obsession with Brandy Wyant

Limerence: The Psychology of Romantic Obsession with Brandy Wyant

Forrest and therapist Brandy Wyant discuss limerence, an intense and often one-sided state of romantic obsession. They explore how limerence differs from both love and ordinary crushes, why uncertaint...

25 Elo 20251h 4min

Mingyur Rinpoche: A Meditation Master on Anxiety, Awareness, and Awakening

Mingyur Rinpoche: A Meditation Master on Anxiety, Awareness, and Awakening

Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Mingyur Rinpoche, a renowned Tibetan Buddhist teacher, to explore calming anxiety with awareness, relaxing unhealthy wanting, and finding a deeper sense of our innat...

18 Elo 20251h 8min

9 Lessons from the Great Minds of Psychoanalysis

9 Lessons from the Great Minds of Psychoanalysis

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the evolution of psychoanalysis after Freud, highlighting key ideas from figures like Adler, Klein, Winnicott, and Hillman. They track how the field expanded from focusing...

11 Elo 20251h 47min

Reclaiming Anger: Trauma, Repression, and Healthy Protest with Elizabeth Ferreira

Reclaiming Anger: Trauma, Repression, and Healthy Protest with Elizabeth Ferreira

Forrest and associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira talk about healthy (and unhealthy) anger. They challenge the common framing of anger as a “secondary emotion,” and explore why anger matters, how it ...

4 Elo 20251h 7min

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