Cognitive Bypassing: How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life

At even the best of times, our relationships require a natural process of correction – let’s call it repair – to clear up little misunderstandings and ease points of friction. Doing that skillfully is the focus of today's episode. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:15: What are the common things that require repair? 3:25: The problem of resisting repair. 9:00: Checking our attributions and understandings. 15:30: Negotiating relevant values. 17:40: Know that your needs matter. 20:50: Expressing your needs clearly. 22:15: Scaling your relationships. 23:40: Repair as an expression of caring. 25:45: Leading with the good. 27:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Loka 201829min

Relationships go smoothly when everyone wants the same thing. But how common is that? On this episode, Forrest and Dr. Hanson continue the strength of Courage by exploring how we can assert ourselves effectively. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:15: Why do people struggle to assert themselves effectively? 3:10: Setting the stage for asserting yourself. 8:45: Keeping your eyes on the prize. 11:50: Commenting on process. 16:10: Focusing on the future. 18:15: What would it look like if you got what you wanted? 24:00: Make requests, not demands. 25:50: Making requests with dignity. 28:50: Consolidating your gains. 30:45: Make clear agreements. 32:15: How can I help you do this? 37:10: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Loka 201839min

Think about the weight of what’s been unsaid in your relationships. What have the effects been on you and other people? Today we’ll explore how to express those undelivered communications, and "speak from the heart" with kindness and skill. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:25: What do you mean by speaking from the heart? 3:00: What do we gain by speaking from the heart? 5:10: Speaking the positive as well as the negative. 6:20: The different dangers in speaking from the heart. 8:00: Establishing safety. 11:45: Being clear about our own facts. 15:30: What are the results you’re aiming for? 16:30: Talking about process. 21:20: Knowing your line in the sand. 22:30: Start by joining. 26:00: Leading with “I feel.” 28:15: Wise speech. 35:20: Continuing to practice empathy. 37:15: Nonviolent communication. 40:15: Honoring other people’s fundamental questions. 43:00: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Loka 201845min

We have a natural desire for a reliable world - but life happens, and no person or organization is perfectly dependable. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how we can learn to manage that natural undependability. If you'd like to learn more about Dr. Hanson's online program The Foundations of Well Being, follow this link! Use the code BEINGWELL10 for 10% off the purchase price. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 2:00: Our expectations of dependability. 5:00: The undependability of experience. 7:30: The inevitability of disappointment. 12:30: Centering amidst disappointment. 17:00: Seeing what IS dependable. 20:40: Recap. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Loka 201822min

It’s easy to spend more time dwelling on the faults of others than reflecting on the room for improvement in oneself. Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore how "unilateral virtue" helps us focus on our side of the street, and keep our eyes on the prize. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:10: Where does unilateral virtue come from? 3:15: Being virtuous without becoming a doormat. 7:20: Fulfilling expectations and creating a framework of trust. 12:20: Doing things out of the kindness of our heart. 14:50: How can we establish our personal code? 18:00: Ways to set and keep personal commitments. 20:10: The difference between inner and other directed. 24:00: Other tactics for maintaining unilateral virtue. 25:30: Staying calm during an irritating interaction. 29:00: Staying humble about how righteous you are. 31:35: Feeling “at choice.” 34:15: Recap. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Loka 201836min

One would think it would be obvious, but the importance of warming the heart, and developing greater compassion and kindness as personal traits, is often overlooked in our important relationships. Dr. Hanson draws on 35+ years of couples counseling experience to teach us how to do just that. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:45: The less obvious reasons to be compassionate and kind. 5:00: The difference between compassion and kindness. 9:00: Loving at will. 11:30: Ways we can increase our capacity for compassion and kindness. 14:00: Respecting the boundaries of others. 16:30: Compassion and kindness while maintaining clear boundaries. 18:10: The protection of warmheartedness. 19:35: The difference between doing a negative thing and receiving a negative response. 20:45: Being loving inside yourself. 21:35: Two equally valuable ways to be loving and kind. 22:40: Loving others helps heal our wounds around love. 24:15: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Syys 201826min

One of the most important interpersonal skills is empathy, which allows us to tune into and understand other people. Dr. Hanson and Forrest continue their discussion on Intimacy by exploring how we can grow this key strength. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 0:30: Why do we need to be empathic in order to be intimate? 1:50: Where does empathy come from biologically? 5:15: Summary of the three ways we can show empathy. 5:50: Is empathy a trait that can be developed? 8:15: Sustaining your attention to other people. 10:35: Letting yourself be truly affected by another person. 12:30: Empathic joining vs. problem solving. 13:55: Having empathy for perspectives very different from your own. 18:45: Ways to have empathy in the moment. 20:00: Feeling felt. 21:20: Using empathy responsibly. 22:00: Empathic imagination. 24:15: How to avoid playing the psychologist. 26:00: Being aware of true intentions. 27:40: Managing tone and using empathy to communicate. 30:25: Finding me and we through empathy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Syys 201835min

Dr. Hanson and Forrest begin a new strength, Intimacy, with a discussion focused on how to balance two seemingly conflicting goals: maintaining our independence from other people while also forging emotionally intimate relationships with them. If you'd like to start making real, positive changes to your brain and your life, but you don't have a lot of extra time, then you may want to check out Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. Use the code BEINGWELL at checkout for 10% off the purchase price. Sponsor Message: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes The material in this podcast comes in large part from our book Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness. If you like the podcast, you'll love the book! Timestamps: 1:40: How does intimacy support autonomy? 3:50: What does appropriate autonomy look like? 5:30: How does autonomy support intimacy? 8:50: The importance of choice. 10:25: Is there a biological basis for preferences for intimacy or autonomy? 12:35: The ways we inhibit ourselves. 16:10: Where do our inhibitions come from? 19:15: How issues with autonomy can disguise themselves as problems with intimacy. 21:55: The oppression of the internalized audience. 24:45: Focusing on your own experience. 26:20: How to build healthy emotional boundaries. 29:00: Remembering when things went well. 30:30: Asserting your autonomy inside your own mind. 34:15: The importance of balance. 35:20: Recap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Syys 201837min